Posted by twinleaf on February 21, 2009, at 15:46:43
I think my block is up today. During the past month, I appreciate more than I can say the supportive and understanding messages which so many of you expressed here over the past month- each message different, and each very important to me- Sigismund, Partly Cloudy, Annie Rose, fayeroe, Witti, stellabystarlight, SSSS (now Happy TC). The three blocks that I received, while personally painful to me, were fair in accordance with the civility guidelines as they are currently administered.
If I could carve out a little space here in which I would not immediately be blocked again- a space in which we could discuss the larger implications of what happened to me and Happy TC, to name only the most recently blocked posters, I think it could be helpful in making Babble the very best it can be. I am asking Dr. Bob and the deputies to withhold any civility actions on this thread while they consider what I have to say.
My psychoanalyst, who had until now shown minimal, or at most a slightly bemused interest in Babble, has now suggested that my mental health would be better served by not participating here, just as Happy TC's therapist has done. His reasons were that, as the civility guidelines are now set up, the administrators wield inordinate social and emotional power over the community of posters. He likened this situation to a dysfunctional family, in which "parents" can tell "children", that, even though someone has hurt or mistreated them, they will be the sole ones punished for saying so. The person who has caused the hurt and pain either suffers no consequences, or a relatively mild one, such as a PBC. An insulting comment about oneself moves into the Archives, readily available to anyone who wants to find it, while our silent and unknown protests go unheard and unresponded to in the notification process, like a stone thrown silently into a bottomless well. My psychoanalyst, who is extremely experienced and sophisticated, feels that the present Babble system- it was not like this a few years ago- now replicates emotionally unfair and abusive families of origin too closely to be healthy. If two fine therapists are saying this, I think it would be very reasonable for Dr. Bob to give this important topic his full consideration.
Posters who get blocked are hurt by the process, even though we know the deputies are only carrying out their responsibilities, and do not have any wish to hurt us. It's inherent in the process- Happy TC got hurt, and I did too. One's sense of community, trust and emotional freedom, in relation to Babble, is permanently diminished when you start getting blocked. I know I will never again feel the security and freedom to share so many intimate things, and to just have fun- the way I once did.
On a related topic, Dr. Bob points out that the Psychology Board is not psychotherapy. I respectfully disagree. Posters there are continuously offering support and encouragement to help others deal with the hardest issues in therapy, and from time to time, they offer very sophisticated and helpful interpretations (not to mention fascinating dream interpretations!). Posters often do trial runs on the Psychology Board before gaining the courage to deal with issues in actual therapy sessions, and are almost invariably glad for the help they received here. Knowing that this is so helps us all to understand that our relationships with Babble are heightened and intensified-as are our therapy relationships. Whether we would like it to be so or not, transference issues are in play here. By implication, hurt, misunderstanding and rejection are intensified also. I believe this is an additional reason for Dr. Bob and the deputies to have a very thoughtful discussion about the effects of the administration guidelines upon the emotional well-being of participating posters.
I hope that others here will find these issues worth thinking about and discussing, as I do.
poster:twinleaf
thread:881542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081228/msgs/881542.html