Posted by karen_kay on November 19, 2003, at 17:46:59
Ok, now I have a crush on my therapist because he is yummy. And I get crushes on older men because I want a father. I spoke with my therapist about helping me end this crush and he said that he still thinks it is beneficial because it keeps me coming back in. I told him I was afraid it would get out of hand (ie. I *might* find out where he lives and drive past his house). He said he wouldn't let that happen. He basically said that I have feelings for the idea of him and not him, as this is a pattern. Also, there is not much he can do to help me get over this crush. Also, he doesn't see the harm..
ok part II
I have a problem with sex because of some things that happened to me as a child. I have feelings of shame associated with sex. I admitted (sheesh!) that I think about him when I masturbate (talk about being honest!! big step for me!) and I feel guilty about it because I feel like I should not think of him like that. I also feel in a way that I am "taking advantage" of him, because he is married. Well, rather than just saying that I am free to think about whom I please he flat out told me I had his permission to think about him and that "Now it is consentual." I understand that he is trying to validate that I am a sexual being and that there is nothing negative about having sexual fantasies, but in saying this, he is only "feeding" my fantasy about him. And, of course I didn't say anything about it. I just kinda smiled. Does this sound like the appropriate way to handle this situation, to give permission? I wasn't looking for permission, I wanted him to say Stop!!! Why don't they do what you want? Ugh! Feedback? Anyone? KarenpS.. At least I don't feel guilty so it had the desires result, but now I feel like he wants me to think of him like that......
poster:karen_kay
thread:281378
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/281378.html