Posted by TamaraJ on February 20, 2005, at 20:36:16
In reply to Re: how to cope and accept? » TamaraJ, posted by rainbowbrite on February 20, 2005, at 20:19:23
I am so sorry Rain. I didn't mean for my questions to make you feel bad. Those are things I think about sometimes when faced with impending grief or a loss. My apologies.
You are certainly not alone. Nobody wants to feel the pain that comes with losing someone we love, and no, not everybody copes well with loss. It sounds to me like you don't want really to erase the person, you just want to erase the pain you feel after having lost the person. I think that is a normal part of the grieving process. There are stages of grief that we go through. I can't remember all of them, but I will try to find something for you to read that may reassure you that some of the feelings and thoughts that you think are *not normal* may actually be part of the grieving process. You know, this may be an issue that you may want to get into with your T as well, when you are comfortable, if you haven't already done so.
Don't be ashamed to talk about these things and ask questions. I am sure that these are questions that people have had since the beginning of time.
Take good care of yourself Rain.
Tamara
> Hi Tamara,
>
> well those questions kind of summed up how I think I feel. And they made me feel! yuck!
>
> I guess I just don't want to have to feel the pain of losing them. when I try to erase than it doesn't hurt as much. I have always worried that I was doing something wrong in doing that, for the reasons you said.
>
> I supose we are meant to feel pain, I often think that I could not surivive if particular people around me died becasue the hurt would take me down with them.
>
> I am having a hard time with this right now and I really wish there was an easy answer. I am a baby when it comes to death and I am afraid of it.
>
> I don't understand at all about death, I don't know what to believe in after someone dies. sorry I am really lost right now. It seems like everyone else that I see copes so well with loss and for me I am paralized by it. I want to prepare and be ready for losing someone, and that is a really depressing thought. Ill stop now
>
> Thanks
> rain
poster:TamaraJ
thread:460475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/461031.html