Posted by paula on November 23, 2001, at 21:36:59
In reply to But Paula, posted by Mair on November 23, 2001, at 19:48:40
Mair,
No, you're not misunderstanding. The "as if" thing certainly has its limitations. I think I've hit them! But I think it can have some benefits. I don't think it's a matter of convincing yourself that it's not an act, but realizing--allowing yourself to see--that you've got it in you. And I think it has to be more specific than acting "as if" you're not depressed. When I act "as if" I'm a sociable person and make conversation with the next person in line with at the store, I usually surprise myself. They were nice; I was nice. Perhaps it was an act on my part--and it's not a way to construct an entire life--but the interaction turns into incontrovertible evidence. It shows (continuing with my little example) that the world isn't as hostile as I subconsciously expect. It also shows that I can be sociable *if I want to.*I'll be the first one to affirm that living an "as if" life really sucks. Thank God I finally got to the end of my rope (so to speak) last year. I got so tired of pretending that I finally sought help and discovered, after 20 years (I'm 30!) that I have depression. Changes the whole equation. I couldn't do all the work by myself, the problem was too big. But I think at some point in the road to recovery, --gosh, I'm not sure how to say it--that it's incumbent upon us to try again. I've been struggling with the "responsibility" issue a lot this year. A LOT! I've spent my whole life feeling resonsible, so it's been incredibly difficult this year to just let go. It's both good and bad to have a "real problem" -- something that makes it all not my fault.
OK, I can tell that I'm rambling now. Sorry! Hope I've made a little more sense!
Thanks, Mair, for your reply,
paula> > Paula - what is the difference between what you're describing and simply trying to pretend you're something you're not? I could go around and pretend I don't have depression (or more to the point, actively hide the fact that I do) and I've created a cocoon of isolation. I marvel at people who are able to self confidently act "as if" but it seems to me that unless you're able to convince yourself that it's not an act, you have to feel like you're living something of a lie?
>
> Am I misunderstanding something?
>
> Mair
poster:paula
thread:14065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14244.html