Posted by paula on November 24, 2001, at 9:13:03
In reply to Re: Living an As If Life, posted by Dinah on November 24, 2001, at 8:37:49
Thanks, Dinah. It was a real revelation to me to discover the "technique" aspect of the "as if" thing. For so long I had definitely lived a wretched "as if" life--with a view to hiding myself from others. When I discovered the "technique" I felt really empowered because I was doing it for me, not them. But I definitely overused it--along with other coping mechanism. You hit the nail on the head (at least as far as my issues are concerned) with the problem that no one knows who you really are. I've always been terrified of people knowing who I am, so of course that is precisely the path I need to take in order to get better. Starting therapy was incredibly painful for me, as was admitting to professors and friends that I have an "official" problem. But I've been so abashed by the support I've gotten from folks who now know "who I really am" that I've started to play around with the "real me" technique. I find it kind of addicting to know that I can say what I really feel and not have the world come crashing down around me. Indeed, these past few emails of mine are a part of that. I'm experimenting with not censoring myself completely. (Sorry to subject all of you to it! Thanks for reading.)
All best,
paula> I like the way Paula described acting "as if". Acting "as if" is a technique. In fact I think they might use it in CBT. If it is used in moderation, with full awareness, as a problem solving technique, it can be a very positive thing. But people like me tend to overuse certain techniques, so that something that is useful can become troublesome. If overused, acting "as if" can lead to a feeling of emptiness and disconnection from others, because no one really knows who you are. I don't think it's useful to live an "as if" life, but it is useful to be aware of the "as if" technique and to know when to use it.
poster:paula
thread:14065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14254.html