Posted by Gracie2 on November 28, 2001, at 21:18:24
In reply to Re: Living an As If Life » Dinah, posted by paula on November 24, 2001, at 9:13:03
Living the "as if" life can actually be a helpful technique, though of course not the way you've been using it.
Some people with aspirations who might secretly believe are beyond their abilities are taught to act "as if" they are already the person they want to be. Whether you want to be a model, a famous actor, a successful interior decorator or just one of the "beautiful people" (which I think is a rather shallow goal, but whatever), you sweep into a room with all the pride and confidence of a successful person and you talk to others as if you've already "made it". This not only instills faith in yourself, but word gets around that you're talented and competent, and pretty soon the jobs start rolling in.Of course, you haven't been doing this. You've been using the "as if" technique to pretend that your life is good and normal (but like someone here said, "normal" is only a setting on a washing machine), and to hide your shyness and distress. How terrible for you...you must be sick of the acting and prehaps unaware of who you really are.
I would suggest therapy - not just a pyschopharmacologist that prescribes drugs and pushes you out the door after 15 minutes - but a real therapist. You need an outlet, a release for your pent-up emotions. If you find this embarrassing, just don't tell anyone. You might also need some medication with your therapy, and I am here to tell you that it doesn't work immediately. But one day you start noticing the color of the autumn leaves. Maybe you plant a garden or take a class. You begin to do things that you never would have considered before, and the more you do, the better you feel.
It also helps to have a mentor, particularly when you're afraid. It doesn't have to be a famous person or even a friend. Once, I worked at an office with a young girl who had a severe case of Tourettes. Despite this, she was going to work and to college. I always told myself, if this poor little girl has the guts to reach for a good life, I sure as hell can do it too.
I hope you get help and my best wishes are with you.
-Gracie
poster:Gracie2
thread:14065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14500.html