Posted by Alara on December 29, 2002, at 1:22:50
In reply to Re: Tabitha, next time..., posted by kath on December 28, 2002, at 15:40:29
> What a great idea, Gracie,
>
> Tabitha - is it an option for you to think of something you enjoy doing & find out if there's a group of people doing it?
>
> Sometimes local newspapers have a 'social' column where you can find out "what's happening".
>
> What about getting involved in doing something that you are interested in, or enjoy - maybe even sorta "trick yourself" into going not with the purpose of meeting new people, but with the purpose of doing something a little different - just for the experience of it. After my first husband left me & my self-confidence was as low as mud & I was as lonely as anything, I forced myself to go to a few events. BUT the problem was that I was going TO MEET PEOPLE!!!!! I was too uncomfortable; didn't find anyone I felt comfortable with, etc. On the other hand, if I attended things because I was really somewhat interested in them, it was easier to sort of float into meeting people.
>
> Volunteer work is great for meeting people.
>
> I'm not sure of your situation. The things I mention take some energy, so might not work for you. Hope you don't mind me putting my 2 cents worth in.
>
> Kath :-)
>
> >
> >
Kath is spot on. I remember taking evening classes just `to meet people' when I first moved out of home. Of course, I was putting so much pressure on myself to achieve my social goal at the time that the plan didn't work.A couple of years later I joined a choir because I was passionate about singing, an art that I'd abandoned after high school. Well, without even trying, I made a couple of new friends and found myself in a new social circle. And now that I think of it, it was so much easier to make friends in that choir because I was doing something that I loved! The focus was taken away from `meeting people', which made me a little more relaxed...It worked.
As it turns out, I find myself in another social lull in my life, having spent two and a half miserable years being isolated and dominated by a boyfriend who constantly put me down. OK, so I chose my own destiny. But now that I am out of that relationship I am going to take the singing that I love beyond exams and private lessons once again and - who knows (?)- I just may meet some new friends.
Tabitha, follow what you love about life and you can't go wrong!
poster:Alara
thread:34063
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34137.html