Posted by Karen_kay on January 12, 2004, at 19:41:07
In reply to Meds before sessions, posted by Elle2021 on January 12, 2004, at 18:47:17
I'm going to go for the meds before the session. Let's see what happens, shall we? What could possbily go wrong? [She says and then: I get there and realize I've forgotten to dress completely.
Or I tell him that I NEED him and I post on this message board about his mistakes and misgivings. He decides to later look up the message board. He obviously picks me out with little problems. He reads all of my posts and knows what I really think about him (which are good things), not to mention his wife (uh oh!). He holds grudges against me because I say bad things about him occassionally and because I open up to you more than I open up to him. He confronts me with his newfound knowledge and I am speachless and begin crying for forgiveness, screaming, "I'm so sorry Daddy! Don't abandon me. I'll tell you my secrets too." He doesn't believe me and decides to terminate therapy. I ask for a referral, and he declines. I later try to get an appointment with other therapists, yet none will see me. My whole "therapy career" is ruined. All because I decided to take anxiety medication before a session.Hmmmmm. Yeah, I still think I'll try it.
I'm always looking at the clock. Last week, I went to grab my coffee and decided against it and my therapist said, "You can drink your coffee if you want." And I said, "Yeah, I know I can. I just didn't want it." Then he said, "Where you looking at the clock but didn't want to be rude?" And I said, "I look at the clock all the time and you comment on how much time we have left during every session. If I want to look at the clock, I'll look at the clock. I won't try to disguise it. I just thought I wanted my coffee and realized I didn't. OK?" And that was the truth. Sheesh! Soemtimes I think I want a drink, then realize I don't. Honestly! Don't look too much into it. I look at the clock several times each session, why would I try to disguise it? It's jsut being curious! Why would I suddenly change?
Well, the dream means much more than that. But, it also means that as well. And I already told him the dream when I called him, so I can't get out of discussing it with him. I'm thinking this is what I want to say, "Well, Bubba, you're my tour guide in a foreign country and you help decide whether I have a nice trip or a bad one, based on what I tell you I'd like to see. I'd prefer to have a nice one. But, you're leading me. I haven't been here before, so be careful please :) And thank you for the journey, in advance.
(Does that sound too cliche?)Also, I know that if you said some really stupid things it would make me feel better personally. It wouldn't make me feel so alone atleast. I feel like maybe I'm the only one who says or does stupid things all the time. Maybe if someone else on this message board screwed up every once in a while I could be like, "OK, finally! Karen's not the only one who messes up! Thank you Frita!" Sheesh! You guys set an awful high standard, I swear! For crying out loud!
As for your Pdoc, maybe you could run up and hug him one day. What would happen? What do you think he would do? I have a mental image of me running up to my therapist and sitting on his lap >) He told me once that inappropriate would be if I sat on his lap and rubbed his head. Maybe I'll try that my last day? I'm sick, already planning what I will do on my last day..... But, maybe I'll see what I can get away with Wednesday. Maybe I won't be able to either. That dream really upset me. I may even start crying. :( Then he may start crying. Then I'd have to smack him, seriously.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:296222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299980.html