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Re: (((((ELLE))))) MY SISTER!!!!!! » Dinah

Posted by Elle2021 on January 14, 2004, at 5:07:51

In reply to Re: (((((ELLE))))) MY SISTER!!!!!!, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 19:24:28

Dinah-
I hope he is wrong. I always kinda suspected I fit that category, but since he never really said anything about it, I dismissed the idea. I guess it's the way he described it to me that really hurt and made me so scared. He was like well (in a very doctorly voice), theres something that we have, and some doctors think that it's a sort of a borderline type case of super-mild schizophrenia. Now, with me, schizophrenia is like a bad word. I can't hear that without getting panicky because I had myself so convinced I was schizophrenic and thats why I went and saw him in the first place. But he goes, I haven't fully decided yet, but thats what I'm thinking. So does that mean I can fool him? Like I can just go in there all normal and happy and make him think I'm fine. Not like that would help, I'd still be this way. I just don't like it that he thinks there's something wrong, even though there is. Honestly (and this could be denial, I'm not sure) I wonder whether he just doesn't have enough info to go one way or the other with any diagnosis. He even said to me today, that he learns something different everytime I visit. So, maybe there is something I haven't told him yet. Anyway, his comment about my app. with the therapist really hurt my feelings. "I don't think it will last long." Well (huff huff). I half-way want to prove him wrong just by going even if I really do turn out not to like it. Oh, I'm just feeling really sorry for myself right now. I'll be better in about a week (or at least somewhat recovered). I really do wish I had never found this out. I liked my ignorance much better. And by the way Dinah, of course I like you. And if being schizoid/schizotypal is like you, then I don't mind a bit, because I find you to be intelligent and very caring. Thanks for the support.
Elle


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poster:Elle2021 thread:296222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300504.html