Posted by twinleaf on December 8, 2008, at 16:55:24
In reply to Re: Blocked for 2 weeks » BayLeaf, posted by lucie lu on December 8, 2008, at 11:14:10
Voicing concern over a deputy's action does not mean that I. or anyone else, is putting them down. That was certainly never my intention; I simply had a different opinion about what would be best to do. Now that I have read more of the other threads, I realize that in this instance there was a gradually escalating situation, with alternating self-condemning and provocative statements. Posters in these situations do usually eventually make it necessary for deputies to give them a PCB or block, but when that occurs, it often seems to me that the poster in question has succeeded in getting either Bob or the deputies to behave like the original parents- i.e. judgemental and rejecting. I wonder what would happen if more interpretative supportive interactions occurred earlier? If a helpful fellow-poster said something like, " it looks like you feel really bad right now, but maybe it would be better if you didn't make (vulgar or inappropriate ) comments, and talked about how bad you feel instead, they would almost certainly be given a PCB. So, because there isn't a good way to intervene along the way, the whole sequence escalates until the poster in distress gets blocked. We now have no way of knowing how she is. Having been blocked myself, I can say from personal experience that it is a painfully rejecting, invalidating experience-the very thing a board dedicated to compassion and understanding should want to avoid whenever possible. Although she is now unable to tell us, we can be pretty certain that the painful feelings that led SSSS to push so hard against the limits of civility are now worse than before.
poster:twinleaf
thread:867435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/867559.html