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I'm trying to understand....

Posted by muffled on December 8, 2008, at 16:14:31

In reply to Re: Site guidelines » Deputy Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on December 8, 2008, at 15:21:27

my brain hurts...
I'm not sure I understand, and I want to, to do better.
Its like this for me IRL too sometimes.
Sometimes I just don't get interpersonal stuff.
The sib next up to me in my foo, was utterly unreasonable, and it was confirmed by others. I learned to let nothing bother me, to let things go, cuz there was no point in fighting my sib, cuz I could never ever win, no matter how logical. I learned that what I felt didn't matter. I didn't matter. I just had to keep the peace and shove any needs or feelings I had aside. I didn't matter. All that mattered was keeping the peace so my Ma didn't freak out.
So in a way its a gift from that sib, that I am able to just let things go and trust that anothers intentions are just the best they can do. I never stay mad at anyone, I am always ready and willing to forgive at the first sign of remorse or sadness on anothers part.
So I guess I just am unable to understand.
I would like to.
Though it will be painful to me, but thats OK, cuz then I won't hurt others next time, cuz thats what hurts me. I don't like to hurt others.
Like I said, little hurts me.
M

 

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