Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2008, at 18:23:41
In reply to Re: This is so hard » TherapyGirl, posted by twinleaf on December 8, 2008, at 18:02:23
> If I could have said something like, "tell us how you are feeling, but don't provoke or attack others",
And again, it still is against site guidelines, even in retrospect. It is simply a question of not characterizing a poster or posts in negative ways.
People can and do respond "It seems like you're having a tough time. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad." Or even "I'd hate to see you get blocked. Can I help in any way?" People can and do respond with sensitive and enormously civil posts that are warm and address the issue without negatively characterizing the behavior. Sometimes that' all that's needed and things do work out. That's really the best possible outcome.
I'd like to point out that other posters aren't therapists. They can help if they feel able to, but they can also feel hurt and distressed themselves. The needs and feelings of *all* posters are important.
And finally you keep referring to deputies and Dr. Bob as being rejecting. Perhaps you and perhaps others see it that way. But I don't feel judgmental, and I don't feel rejecting. I can and do chat with blocked posters, and feel no difficulty at all doing that. I can and do respond warmly and with genuine fondness. And I can and do block people I care very much about, even people I love. I have *never* rejected SSSS.
PBC's, blocks, and rejection or judgmentalism are not synonyms. If you see it that way, you do, and I respect that. But it's not true from this end. I don't reject SSSS in any way. I have always stood her friend, and will continue to do so. But I don't see it the way you do. The board couldn't run without rules or consequences. But that's all they are. Rules and consequences. Not judgment and rejection. Why would I reject this poster? Why would I judge her? I hope she knows that I am the same as I always have been.
poster:Dinah
thread:867435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/867574.html