Posted by Kingfish on August 13, 2001, at 10:24:09
In reply to Re: More on aloneness » AKC, posted by Kingfish on August 12, 2001, at 16:00:32
> Wow, what a wonderful and caring thread!
re: Fundamental Christianity - I was raised as a fundamentalist, and decided at 18 that I simply no longer believed that Christ was the only way to "God." Since then, I have realized that it is not a "friendly" religion in its entirety, though there are some very sincere and wonderful people who are a part of it (including my parents). I have gone through the atheist quandry and am now an agnostic for whatever that is worth.
I wouldn't go back to friends from that realm in your life, but that's just me. Mila speaks of a purity in fundamentalists that I think you do find in the Catholic Church, but not in many Evangelicals. And re: that part of AA - that's what would probably always keep me from it, so I'm impressed you've been able to work with that.
I want to go get a massage now - perhaps we all should, including Kazoo?
I don't know that I completely agree with the making amends part of AA, but then I probably don't understand it. I personally would rather forge ahead and work on where you are now with friendships, such as getting into the resident lesbian community, rather than visit the past. I don't know what happened with you, but drawing from my own meager experience, I wouldn't try to make amends with a friend I cut off years ago. Perhaps I will get my hand slapped here though.
We all have only so much energy and you are being pulled many, many ways. I have to remind myself of this constantly. And I don't have as much energy as most people. I, like Susan, am using your posts selfishly, thinking about this now.
So your work is taking up a lot of energy. I'm guessing your home situation is O.K. because you're at the same location you've been at for awhile. Your SELF needs a lot of energy right now. So maybe there's not a great deal left over for relationships at this moment. So maybe you just need to find a little something you can do, maybe once a week, to start building that part of your life until you can put more energy into that category. (This is just me thinking aloud, and, yes, quite selfishly). Is it, going to a poetry reading? (By the way, I, too, suck at meeting strangers.) Or, taking a one night a week creative class of some sort? (Again, I'm helping myself here. Have lived in Woodstock for a year, and only know one person).
It can't take up much time. Because You need that time right now, it seems. Remember, if you plan in being in KC for awhile, you do have lots of time to connect. And even a little step might make you feel like you're on your way.
(Now let's see if I can take my own advice.:))
- K.
poster:Kingfish
thread:9358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9416.html