Posted by Daisym on July 17, 2008, at 1:02:47
In reply to Scared of men *triggers* long, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 15, 2008, at 17:09:25
I suppose it is "clinically significant" or whatever.
Don't you just hate it when you know those phrases...and they apply to you?!
It makes perfect sense to me that you would be afraid of your own sexual power. Most kids believe that they caused their abuse in some way - that they had the power to turn someone they loved "bad." But they didn't know exactly how - or how to control it. So as adults, those feelings still live in us. If we are responded to by men - even easy, flirty, kinds of responses, those old feelings get activated. So we go into shut down mode - freezing. And the smaller we feel, the bigger and more powerful men feel. No wonder you get freaked out.
Sometimes I ask myself, "who do you think you are that you think you can control the universe?" That sometimes works to remind myself that I'm not that powerful. But most of the time I'm caught in the fear reaction before I realize what is happening.
Don't you wish you could be comfortable about all of this? I can talk to my therapist about sex, although the questions sometimes make me blush. Recently, about sex: "so what do you like? What helps you relax and what feels good?" Um...flannel nightgowns?
Good work staying with the discussion.
poster:Daisym
thread:839877
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080709/msgs/840107.html