Posted by Solstice on November 29, 2010, at 15:13:29
In reply to Re: sore spots, posted by muffled on November 29, 2010, at 9:17:37
Muffled.. I (for one) am so glad you (all of you :) are here, and are posting.
> "You're not silenced. You're posting. An uncivil part of you may be silenced. That I'd happy to accept responsibility for."
>
> :( The most hurt parts inside are not necessarily 'civil' at all times. Some are angry, some are so hurt.I want you to know that I genuinely understand this. You may have some parts that, when in the forefront, are much more easily triggered than other parts... and much less equipped to manage strongly felt responses to the triggers.
> I am NOT supposed to 'silence' them :( I am supposed to nurture them and listen to them. THAT is support.You must have an amazing therapist. I'm so glad you don't 'silence' those parts. You do need to care for them and listen to them. They need the better functioning parts of yourself to pay attention to their needs, to advocate on their behalf. Sometimes they might also need your better functioning parts to blanket them with a protective embrace when they are feeling triggered. Not silence them, but maybe by taking those angry, hurt parts to a Civility Buddy that can help you sort through the needs of those hurt and angry parts. I wonder if the 'whole' of you will grow more satisfyingly integrated if the better functioning parts take the angry, hurting parts (when triggered here) to a one-on-one relationship with a Civility Buddy, an IRL friend, or even your therapist, to ensure that their voices are heard - that their pain is acknowledged, and that they are compassionately accepted as very wounded parts who may at times run unexpectedly amok. This would be a way of protecting those parts from suffering even more injury by the collective Muffled being blocked just because a wounded part had trouble figuring out how to make her/himself heard in a way that complied with Babble's civility guidelines.
I can see why things often feel harsh here. They have been harsh. But I do think Bob is genuinely working hard at this time to come up with a way to make it less harsh, but still keep the site safe enough for everyone.. including others with parts. His proposal for a Council that would be able to reduce blocks might solve the problem of your hurting, angry parts sometimes getting uncivil. His Council idea means that Council would cut down on blocks for low-threshhold incivility.
Because of your parts, you might feel at special risk for blocks.. no wonder you feel so conflicted about this place. I don't want you (any of you) to go away. The poetic parts of you (especially) have riveted me to the edge of my seat. I'm hoping that between your better functioning parts stepping in to protect your very wounded parts by taking them to be heard by a Civility Buddy, and a Council having more control over block length... I'm hoping all of your parts will feel safe enough to stay.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:970854
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/971789.html