Posted by Solstice on November 28, 2010, at 11:45:50
In reply to our roles..., posted by twinleaf on November 28, 2010, at 10:26:56
First, Twinleaf.. your support and encouragement speaks to your grace..
> Sadly, PC, if everyone remains silent about existing, harmful problems, our forum will die. We have valued it so much, particularly as it was several years ago, that many of us have risked our presence here by identifying what seemed to be problem areas, and suggesting very moderate, flexible changes.
>
> Until now, Bob has not shown any interest in our ideas. I routinely felt punished for speaking up. Recently, I was about to be blocked for a year for using the word "outlandish". It was impossible for me to avoid coming to the conclusion that I was being silenced. I considered this extremely inappropriate in a mental health forum- and very stressful for me if I continued as an active poster.I have witnessed the history of the things of which you speak.
> Now, however, I note that Solstice has put forth an excellent set of suggestions, all tending torwards moderation, co-operation and flexibility,Please know that I have merely pulled together the ideas and suggestions birthed by the wisdom of this community, through the collective pain the community has experienced. These are not my ideas. I am just very good at pulling all of these ideas together and constructing the various pieces of them in a way that is executable. I have a well-developed ability to put together 'systems,' and I am very good at troubleshooting and problem-solving. Sometimes that organizational capacity brings me attention I don't necessarily merit.
> and that Bob has responded with interest.I have seen Bob respond with interest a number of times over the years. I've even seen him make modifications. Case in point is the concession he made to give people time to apologize or rephrase. He wasn't responding to me when he instituted that change. He was responding to the heartbeat of this community, which I think he care a great deal about. I just think that this is a very large community, and it's not humanly possible for him to read all the posts. It might be somewhat like the difference between a highly attentive mother of two children who are spaced 6 years apart (one mature and independent, and one placing higher demands).. and the Mother Goose nursery rhyme:
"There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children
she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth
without any bread;
She whipped them all soundly
and put them to bed."I don't think any interest on Bob's part is because it's *me* - or because I'm a 'new' poster - or because I have any new or better ideas. I think he's responding adminstratively to a system that has been constructed for him - that outlines protection of his objectives - and I think he's responding based on his genuine desire for the forum to remain viable and helpful to the community it serves.
> She has identified several very important things - that the punitive and inevitably uneven application of civility rules and blocks creates an elevated level of stress in our community. This is so important to recognize, and, even more, to correct.Thank you so much, Twinleaf, for your succinct summary of that point. I think the community has been struggling to convey this to Bob for a long time, but I am not certain it's been easy for him to 'see.' I don't think his difficulty 'seeing' it speaks to whether he cares about the community.. I think it just speaks to the nature of his role preventing him from experiencing the dynamics of it (punitive & unequal) like it's experienced by the community. It's a little like requiring someone to spend their whole life in a darkened room, then expecting them to explain how they are affected by the colors of a rainbow :-)
> The other very important point is that any solutions need to seem like good ones to both Bob and the posters. None of us want Bob to do anything that is not an excellent idea in his own eyes.Another succinct summary! I wish I was good at summarizing. I think my difficulty with wordiness is one of those other-side-of-the-coin things. This particular deficiency of mine seems to be an inherent feature of highly visual-thinkers. I am good at constructing systems because my mind comphrehends only in 'wholes,' I am unable to 'see' individual pieces of anything if they are separated from each other. Separated components are anxiety provoking for me. The drawback of being a visual thinker is that I have a great deal of trouble knowing where to start when trying to explain what I 'see' with respect to a 'system.' Thus.. the appearance of meandering around. It can look aimless to those who are highly linear.. but if you can hang in there with me, the system will eventually be clear. That's where I get to enjoy the gratitude I feel as folks can summarize and put the concept I have into a more linear (and succinct) order that is more understandable to most other folks. I have found that my well-being, and my most productive level of functioning, best takes place in conjunction with and in the context of relationships with others of different giftings - the wider the variety, the better. I can be rendered pretty useless solo.. so I sustain a living, breathing gratitude and respecxt for others.
> I was very excited to see Solstice's post, and even more, that Bob has responded,. I do hope Bob will continue his dialogue with her and all the others who care about Babble, and that they will work out the needed changes together within a reasonable period of time.Again, Twinleaf.. I am humbled by and grateful for your support. But I am not doing this alone. I didn't come up with these ideas. Maybe I am better viewed as being someone holding (the pieces don't fall through my fingers) and presenting Bob with the gift of our composite.
And finally... I am also acutely aware of the urgency for change. Overnight changes would not be reasonable.. but Bob's decisive engagement and clear (and quick) movement toward reshaping the current system is imperative.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:970854
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/971554.html