Posted by Dr. Bob on November 9, 2010, at 18:59:11
In reply to magic-absentee admin..., posted by muffled on November 9, 2010, at 10:54:38
> But there comes problems, when the main person who controls so much, shows interest, gets everyone invested, then just POOF(speaking of magic...) disappears for long periods of time...
Right, then the challenge is to continue to function without him.
> Reminds me of husbands that work away from thier families, the families learn to function as a unit w/o H cuz he not there. Then H comes home on leave(eg) and expects to just be part of the family.
> But they have gotten used to it w/o him, and have to rearrange their systems of relating to adapt to his presence.And maybe they have feelings about his having been away.
> So they have to readapt. Then he back, and they readapt, back and forth, back and forth :(
> What to do?Rearrange the systems to function without him. And keep them functioning even when he returns.
> Maybe the H can ease in slow. See where things are at FIRST before he barge in w/disciplining the kids etc.
Would he discipline anyone if he came home and the systems were functioning?
> Knowing the wife DOES have a better sense of the family unit as she is there all the time.
> The wife, for her part helps the H understand and accepts him. And yes, corrects him.What if there isn't a wife/mother? Do the kids depend on older siblings? Can they
> Work TOGETHER.
> RESPECTFULLY.
> COMMUNICATE.themselves?
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:969088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/969456.html