Posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 11, 2004, at 10:47:56
In reply to Physical attraction and body type, posted by alexandra_k on September 10, 2004, at 19:33:35
I am 5'9 and pretty curvy (size 14) and have always been attracted to very thin men. All of my boyfriends and current husband weigh less than I do. They have all been either my height or taller, but I am also attracted to shorter men. Makes no difference to me. My T is a little taller than I and thin. And there has been some paternal transference as well as sexual transference on my part.
I certainly wouldn't say that we have ever gone in depth about this. He is pretty eclectic in his approach. We talk about dreams and my childhood, etc., but he is pretty focused on CBT. He is uncomfortable talking about transference. By out third month of therapy, I brought in Deborah Lott's book "In Session" for him to read. Which he did. It was only AFTER he told me he read the book that I brought up my feelings of transference.
Anyway, he told me that he read the part in Lott's book about transference so I "didn't have anything to worry about." I assured him I wasn't out to seduce him or anything. HE said "OK, no problem." and we left it at that. That was 9 months ago.
I still genuinely love him and wish he could have been my father. I still fantasize about holding his hand or hugging him or even having sex with him. But I know it's all fantasy and if the opportunity presented itself to take action on these fantasies, I would not do it. We all like the forbidden fruit. He has very strict boundaries (no gifts, no hugging) and these rules of his makes me feel very cared for
So I can genuinely say that we have not "worked through" transference. I don't know how one does that. My T is funny, very smart, loves movies, the Rolling Stones, and Van Morrisson. What more could you want? I love him not only because he has helped me but because he is a warm, intelligent, and funny person who is thinner than I and has brown eyes the size of saucers. I don't think that can be "worked through." But I would love to talk to him more about it. It's sort of like the elephant sitting in the room. Many times I feel there is chemistry between us but I'm sure it's just wishful thinking.
poster:Miss Honeychurch
thread:389371
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040907/msgs/389612.html