Posted by spoc on May 5, 2004, at 10:22:45
In reply to a vicious cycle.... » spoc, posted by karen_kay on May 4, 2004, at 20:22:50
Karen, cupcake, I KNOW! It IS a vicious cycle, LIFE ITSELF is a vicious cycle!! (Is that even how you spell 'vicious,' it has always been one of my problem words, I just don't know and I'm too tormented and confused to even spell check it right now!) So many questions -- so much pain in this veil of tears we call life -- and no answers!!! Karen I can be of NO USE to you until I get some answers, gimmee some answers PLEEEASSSSE! WHY WHY WHY IS IT.....
.... that I can't be like the girl in the Singulair allergy medication commercial, the one who goes with her new boyfriend to visit his family on a farm! Nothing bad has ever happened to that girl in her LIFE, I can tell by looking at her! (Even her poor judgment in wearing black slacks and a black wool trench coat to the farm -- which could have intimidated the folks and gotten things off on the wrong foot -- works out FINE in her case!) She's a bit tentative and nervous when she arrives; in itself it *is* a nerve-wracking situation (if that is even how you spell 'nerve-wracking')! Will they like me? Will they think me worthy of bearing his children?? Will my allegies act up??? But soon, she is shelling peas or whatever you call it, giggling as an errant pea flings willy nilly into her face; riding a tractor through the fields with dad (oh, she didn't want to at first, I could tell -- but again it works out FINE); getting big laughs to her stories on the porch -- which in reality are probably Barney jokes and tales of how forest creatures bring her nuts and berries when she goes on picnics!!! She couldn't be uncivil if she tried! Dr. Bob has been trying to hire her for years!!
TOO MUCH HAPPINESS FOR JUST ONE PERSON, IT'S NOT FAIR! EVERYONE HAS ALWAYS LIKED HER; SHE'S NEVER EATEN TWINKIES OR FRITOS; SHE LOOKS BETTER WITH GLASSES THAN WITHOUT; AND NO ONE HAS EVER INDUCED HER TO RUN A LEAD-SATURATED QUARTER DOWN HER NOSE *OR* PUT GLASSES OF BEVERAGES ON HER HANDS AND HEAD! SHE PROBABLY WON'T EVEN TRY TO SNEAK INTO HER BOYFRIEND'S ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, NOR TAKE A SHOWER WITH HIM WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING! SHE'S NOT *LIKE* THAT (AND HE DOESN'T EVEN MIND)! I LOVE HER, I HATE HER, I MUST BE HER!!! WHY CAN'T I BE?? Karen, when we visit your family, can we shell peas and ride tractors? Will you phone ahead and threaten harm to everyone if they don't laugh at my jokes??!
....and WHY!!! WHY are there so many commercials where the typical happily married couple is supposed to be represented, and she is always thin and beautiful; while he is rather portly if not fat and looks like he could be a fat funny guy on Saturday Night Live! YES! It does appear as if he would still look like a comedian even if he lost weight! This is the latitude the producers feel is owed to all husbands! Think about it, just TRYYYY to remember a single commercial you have EVER seen in your life wherein the wife was the one weighing in somewhere between chubby and fat -- just for the heck of it, unrelated to the product being peddled -- while the husband was a trim hunk!
You just TRY to tell me you have ever seen that! It's not like it's the WOMAN who has nature's fat deck stacked against her or anything; not like HER body is genetically programmed to store fat reserves; not like SHE has to have the children; not like SHE'S the one driven to psychiatric medications!! NOOOO, it's not like any of THAT is relevant, HE gets to be the fat one and it is OK! Even charming! It is SO ok that you may not even notice these commercials anymore! Karen, if I give in to you, who gets to be the fat one someday?!
.... how can love flourish in me in a world where there is such wide spread inequity everywhere I look! Even at my favorite message board, where I run for refuge, everyone gets longer subject lines than me! YES IT'S TRUE, I know it's true, don't try to tell me otherwise! Other people can get half their post, their email address and the weather forecast in their subject lines, while I have maybe four spaces to work with after the "RE:!!" No I NEVER exaggerate, don't insult me that way! I display a VERY positive attitude at ALL TIMES, b*tch!
.... and people! How can I live and love without fear on the same planet as all those people who ask you "...hey are you busy?" *BEFORE* telling you what the favor is they want from you, and its magnitude! Don't tell me they don't realize what they are doing, they know EXACTLY what they are doing! They are purposely HIDING its magnitude from you! Knowing full well and with evil design that YOU will look the fool if you answer so as to preserve your right to subsequently say that you are too busy; that this is how little they are worth to you; that this is how selfish you are!! How do I know you would never do this to me Karen, if I let down my guard and trust you!
.... and SHOPPING CARTS!!! Your fear of SHOPPING CARTS!! As a result of that you won't be there when I need you! At those times when I am contentedly reading labels in the aisle and spacing out; and someone in need of validation or stress relief will stand silently being blocked by me, rather than use that hole in their face known as a mouth to simply and expediciously say "EXCUSE ME," and flag the fact that they are there and need to get by! Why is it that they don't -- I'll tell you why they don't! They would rather stand there silently for five minutes until you finally see them yourself; jump; and fall all over yourself apologizing and exclaiming what an inconsiderate CLOD you are, possibly wondering if you even deserve to LIVE! This is MUCH more satisfying to them!
And Karen, you won't even be there to kill them for me, not even just a couple of them! So you will have to be sure to get all of them for me in locker rooms, on crowded sidewalks, and other places where humans gather and mill about en masse; with some of them stopping to stare at something and daydream, and others pretending to be greatly inconvenienced by that just for sport! Many of them flock to such places for this very reason, especially while tapering off meds! And see, you may have always thought it was the *inconsiderate daydreamer's* fault for getting in the way, but NOOOO! Turns out you are wrong, and I need you to be there for me, shopping carts or no shopping carts!
.... and my slinky (the toy) joke! Karen, how could I let myself fall for someone who so cruelly will not take a gift from me that I have offered up at least three times now! Are you so spoiled that you feel you already have enough slinky jokes? Can ANYONE ever have enough slinky jokes?? That is just RUDE and ungrateful of you to say! So you will now take it whether you like it or not! And if you REALLY want to win my heart and trust, you will get back to me and tell me you thought it was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY, regardless of your true reaction! Get back to me with answers and assurances about *ALL* the aforementioned suffering; make sense of it all for me; or I will NEVER be able to unleash my heart in that world! OK THEN! Without further adieu (if that's even how you spell 'adieu'), my SLINKY JOKE!
Why are some people people like slinkies?
Not good for much of anything but fun to watch one tumble down the stairs!!!
poster:spoc
thread:340747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040430/msgs/343612.html