Posted by noa on May 3, 2004, at 18:57:05
In reply to Working towards partlycloudy, posted by rainyday on May 3, 2004, at 14:11:59
Do you have a history of mania or hypomania?
The reason I ask is this--I don't have hypomania, but that was a hypothesis being thrown around a few years back when my pdoc and I were trying to figure out WTH was going on with me. We finally settled on Double D.
Anyway, I remember a few years back when I finally started feeling little bits of improvement, and I'd be excited or happy for a few hours and actually have a little wee bit of fun with people, it was so exciting to feel that I started worrying that I was hypomanic.
I know now that I wasn't, though. It was just so different than how it had felt for a long time--depressed depressed and more depressed. It was a foreign feeling to feel maybe ok and able to have some fun again.
But then I developed this kind of special 'anxiety disorder' about depression, and about the Depressed/Not Depressed ups and downs and became hypervigilant when I felt halfway ok--I'd think, "Is it ok to feel ok and let my guard down? Is depression lurking around the corner, waiting to pounce again, just as I loosen up and feel a bit better?"
This did get better after a while, especially after my hypothyroidism was treated adequately, because that was when I started having much longer intervals between the major depressive episodes, and the dysthymia started to improve, too. Oh, and talking about this in therapy helped a lot, too.
poster:noa
thread:342769
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040430/msgs/342974.html