Posted by rainyday on May 3, 2004, at 11:32:07
In reply to Re: Am I better or is this an illusion? » rainyday, posted by Scott in Vermont on May 3, 2004, at 11:06:00
Thanks, Scott. I know I should be grateful for what peace I do find. I think my distrust of it is another expression of my anxiety. It seems to be chasing around picking new bits of myself to tear apart.
I made it to work today. I have not cried. My bad hair day is not so very bad. I don't have to take my ambien to sleep any more, but I don't remember any dreams right now. I usually (pre depression and mania) have lucid, colourful dreams, and I miss them when they stay submerged.
Since starting this round of therapy I find I am exploring all sorts of directions: creatively, spritually, emotionally - the whole ball of wax. I'm so fragmented in my approach that I'm afraid I'm not getting the benefit of any of them.
My goal for this week is not to ruin my period of smooth sailing by capsizing into a bottle of gin.
poster:rainyday
thread:342769
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040430/msgs/342820.html