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Re: Stop Violating Boundaries? Long.... » Susan J

Posted by Dinah on October 23, 2003, at 8:42:38

In reply to Stop Violating Boundaries? Long...., posted by Susan J on October 22, 2003, at 11:07:28

Quite possibly nothing you will say will make a difference. :( My mother is a boundary breaker, and someone actually asked me to tell her to step back. I just looked at them bug eyed and told them I couldn't control my mother's behavior with me, I couldn't possibly help them.

Fortunately, it's possible for me to put physical distance between my mother and me. Sounds to me like not only are you stuck with her, but you're stuck in an office where she's going to be supported if you say anything too strong to her. It sounds like your bosses aren't going to help you on this one. Perhaps you should spread your anger out a bit. Your bosses should be trying to help your working environment, however uncomfortable they might be confronting someone. Does she only do this with you?

Have you tried the yelp? An office mate of mine used it to great effect with a touchy colleague. If he touched her, she'd yelp and jump (loudly and violently) and say he startled her. I imagine it could also be used for space violations. Can you make your desk uncomfortable to be next to, piles on the floor, etc.?

Sorry to be so pessimistic. I've just been my mother's daughter too long.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/272225.html