Posted by Susan J on October 19, 2003, at 13:30:32
In reply to Re: I love this thread :), posted by cybercafe on October 19, 2003, at 13:20:25
Hi, Cyber,
> All the other stuff should wait until two people know each other pretty darned well, as far as I'm concerned. :-)
cool....... how long does it usually take to reach that level of intimacy, i see a lot of people expecting it on the first date?
<<I really don't know. I'm 36 and came of age in the 80s with AIDS. So I'm a bit cautious about getting intimate too fast. What age group are you in? I know folks in their 20s are more casual about the hookups than I am. And people in their 40s and 50s, baby boomers, same thing with them. The free love 60s and all that. So I kind of feel like the abberation...
The best, most respectful relationships for *me* started as a date where we could talk forever and there was definitely sexual chemistry. Like I *wanted* to go home with the guy that night, but we waited.....and the waiting is cool! I think it's definitely worth *not* giving in to instant gratification. Sexual tension builds up, you get to do the kissing thing for a few dates, you get to know the person better.
And I guess for me, the level of verbal intimacy/raciness/whatever, directly corresponds to the level of physical intimacy that's going on. If either gets too far ahead of the other, it's stressful for me.
But this all brings up another question I'm wondering about.....you said your tastes depended on what mood/meds you had/were on? How do *I* or when do I bring up to a guy that I've been dealing with major depression for the past 2 years, and probably will have to deal with it in some form for the rest of my life? Talk about mood killer..... :-)
Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:270019
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031011/msgs/270855.html