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Re: Mornings are horrid » Penny

Posted by Emme on October 17, 2003, at 8:41:26

In reply to Re: Mornings are horrid » Emme, posted by Penny on October 16, 2003, at 8:16:12

Hi Penny,

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. It's the next morning and I'm still here....

> Wow - we have so much in common. Except that I'm not unemployed, but I was last year, and I moved to a new town where I only knew one person, who turned out to be helpful in some ways (gave me a place to live) but then became overbearing.

> And, more than a year later, I just celebrated (yeah, right) my 27th birthday and I have a job (have been here for a year) but I still wake up each morning alone and still have almost no friends.

Happy belated birthday! I did stop feeling celebratory in my 20's, but I'll say it to you anyway. :) You're still so young, though maybe you don't feel it. I do hope you will be able to start to meet some new people. Do you like your job?

One of my friends and his wife had a method of meeting new people in a new place. Once they knew just a few people, maybe from work, they'd throw a dinner party, cook up a storm, and invite those few people with the condition that they bring along someone new that the hosts didn't know (in addition to their significant others). I'm not sure I would have the energy to do that in a "new place depressed state", but it seemed to work for them.

I am so afraid of that "new place" aloneness. Do you have a support system of friends in other places that you can talk to by phone and internet?

> And I have a pdoc who I think is the best in the world, but he hasn't been able to fix me (which makes me think I am 'unfixable').

I hear ya. I keep expecting my pdoc and therapist to just give up on me. But they seem to be very stubborn. They believe in me far more than I believe in me.

> But, what I can tell you, that you already know, is that your mood will lift again. I can't say it will lift permanently, as I've never had that experience, but it *will* lift. Things won't always look so bleak as they do this morning.

It keeps coming back...I'm always waiting for the other shoe to fall. And even when the day is *better*, it's nowhere like a full remission. Itjust goes from really horrible to less horrible. How do you hold onto hope when you count the good times in hours?

> Try to find *something* to hold onto. Do you have a pet? I know you're unemployed...but if you can afford to get a pet and you don't have a pet, get a pet. Pets give you something to hold on to.

I wish. My landlord won't permit it. Do you have one?
>
> Sending you warm thoughts and hoping your day gets better.

> (((Emme)))

Thanks. I wish a decent day for you.

((Penny))

Emme

 

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