Posted by fallsfall on July 12, 2003, at 13:06:26
In reply to Weighing the alternatives, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2003, at 11:47:54
I think that "ability to function" is important. Contrary to what I have believed for my whole life, that is not the same as "productivity at work". So "functioning" might include taking care of kids, participating in a hobby, exercise (wow, she would be so proud to see that), and part time work or volunteering or a job that is clearly below expectations for your education level. I think that _balance_ is the goal. If you house is so clean that you can eat off the floors, and your curtains and furniture are perfectly coordinated, but you aren't working/volunteering then I think you are out of balance.
I have a friend who works 20 hours a week because she can't work more. She's been in therapy for 14 years. With her schedule she functions well most of the time, though stressors get her every once in a while. If she worked 40 hours a week she would be a mess all of the time.
Are you trying to compare one treatment regimen to another? Or are you trying to decide if you are "good enough"?
Were you lazy when you were a kid? I don't know that "lazy" is a trait that you pick up in mid-life. Do you ever have a really good period (an hour, a day) when you feel like you used to? I had a day a while ago and it reminded me how easy it is to do things when you have some motivation. The next day it was gone. But I know that if the motivation came back for me that I would get all kinds of things done. Is this similar to what you are experiencing?
You need to push yourself to see how much you can do. This is true. But pushing too hard and forcing things is counterproductive for me. I've learned to push a little, but if it is too hard then I need to back off. And I have to do that every day - to see if today is better than yesterday (and sometimes it is).
You need to look at your obligations to see if they are realistic for you. Then add a couple of optional ones on so you can grow. Those of us who are chronically depressed can't expect ourselves to do what healthy people do. You wouldn't expect someone with MS to match what healthy people do - they can do some of it, but they may need to rest more, or baby a cold.
It's not like you are sitting around saying "Woe is me" and not trying at all. You've tried certain drugs, others aren't available to you. You are actively in therapy.
Be kind to yourself. Be realistic. What would you tell someone else who came to you with this same problem?
(Maybe your hobby is Babble!)
poster:fallsfall
thread:241167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/241195.html