Posted by Emme on July 8, 2003, at 0:54:54
In reply to Re: and I guess it's no small thing..., posted by kara lynne on July 7, 2003, at 15:01:03
Hi Kara Lynne,
I'm having an insomnia kind of night. So I'm catching up on e-mail and the like. And my legs are getting eaten by something that slipped in through my screens...ah well, that's what after-bite is for.
> Yes, I'm trying to distance myself as much as possible. Unfortunately I'm still somewhat financially dependent on my father,
That's tough. No doubt about it.
> especially at the moment. I'm ashamed to admit it,
Don't be. Many of us have been there. My folks have helped me out here and there when I was in grad school, well beyond an age where I thought they should have to. And I knew others in the same situation. They'd take care of plane tix to see them, helped me buy a car when my old jalopy bit the dust, etc.
> but hopefully that won't be forever. I also have so much guilt around them (isn't that supposed to be another form of anger turned inward?). I have guilt about the financial stuff and about not being a "good daughter"--not staying in touch, etc. But they've been so glaringly unsupportive right now it makes it a bit easier to be a bad daughter--i.e. take care of myself.Okay, now, if they're being unsupportive, just repeat to yourself: It's not me, it's them. If they're not going to mellow and be more supportive, then you have the difficult task of trying to figure out how to manage a relationship with them that will enable you to take care of yourself. Easier said than done of course. :) And I can see where guilt would creep in.
> As my therapist is fond of saying, "Never go to dinner where you are the main course."
I like that!
> My other brother had a severe drug addiction for many, many years. He has cleaned up, but really has no life and lives at home with my parents at 47. It's really sad. He has a wonderful, gentle soul and at one time was an artist and a musician. But he just gave everything up somewhere inside along the way.That is too bad....
> Anyhow, enough about me!! How are you doing these days? What's going on with your therapist and the hospital prospect?
Well, after another bit of a setback last week, I seem to be at least holding together. I'm not in agony, and I can get a little done. So I think I will stay out of the hospital for the time being. It'll be about 3 weeks till the consultation/scond opinion with the person my pdoc recommended.
> Thanks for listening again.Don't mention it.
> P.S. more about studies to come--
Good.
Emme
poster:Emme
thread:238884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/240032.html