Posted by Emme on July 6, 2003, at 10:09:17
In reply to Re: talked to friend briefly, posted by kara lynne on July 4, 2003, at 13:40:30
> *Let's make a deal - we'll both try to give ourselves a break over the next difficult thing that happens. *
>
> Sounds good to me Emme--ok, remember, we have a deal!!You bet!
> In my family it was not the same for men as ait was for women; I was thinking that throughout our emails, so it's interesting that you bring it up. It was not the same in a lot of ways.
That's bad. I think in my family I'm not sure where gender fits in. My mother can certainly express anger. I'm not sure how my brothers feel about expressing their anger because I've never asked them. But I might ask one of them. He's got a bit of a temper on him, but he may or may not feel bad when he loses it. My dad doesn't overreact if I grouch at him a little once in a while. Mom gets much more hurt. But years ago my dad used to be something of a bully and he's really mellowed out.
> Right now I'm just amazed at how unkind my father is being to me. It's as if he's punishing me for not being able to keep an abusive man around. It's very hard for me to come to terms with. *He* can sure be angry, but any show of mine invites instant rejection from him. Hey, he stopped talking to me the other day because I suggested he needed a shot of freon in his car air conditioner.
Oh my gosh. That sounds dreadful. You deserve for him to have *your* best interests at heart and for him to treat you with respect. Has your father always been verbally abusive? It sounds like you know the score here, but if your father's treatment ever causes you to start to doubt or blame yourself, tell yourself: It's not me, it's him.
> Anyway, remember our deal and keep posting.You too. I haven't been reading all the threads, so I'm not completely up on things, but I do hope you're doing okay in your new place, that your exams went okay. I'll look around on the board to see what the situation is with your ex - I hope you get some peace soon.
Emme
poster:Emme
thread:238884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/239660.html