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Re: You've Got to be Kidding

Posted by OldSchool on January 26, 2002, at 20:03:35

In reply to You've Got to be Kidding » OldSchool, posted by Mair on January 26, 2002, at 17:23:03

> Old School - I don't know what in Shar's post pushed your button, but while you may be expressing a strongly held opinion, it's not responsive and hardly supportive of Shar's predicament. Your refer to ineffectual "cheesy" therapy, with total disregard for the fact that Shar's post refers to her 10 year relationship with her therapist. It doesn't sound to me that this is a person that Shar just wants to tell to "get lost." It seems pretty obvious that Shar struggles with suicidal ideation, and is conflicted about making this agreement not because she's not suicidal, but precisely because she sometimes is. For her to simply say "I'm not suicidal so forget about it," hardly seems productive. I'm sure Shar would be overjoyed if meds alone did the trick, but that's obviously not the case for her, and I think it insensitive that you would suggest that it is, or at this stage and without knowing a helluva lot more about her, that it could be.
>
> Mair

When I used the term "cheesy" I didnt mean it in a derogatory way towards Shar. I thought that was pretty clear the way I used the word "cheesy." I meant that it is a childish and "cheesy" way for her therapist to deal with Shar. Its insulting to Shar. Its treating her like a kid...its the idiot treatment. Nobody likes the idiot treatment. Its like a gimmick or something. "Oh I want you to sign a suicide agreement, so you wont committ suicide on me."

Thats not the way I operate and I was sharing the way I felt about it with Shar. I want to be treated like an adult, like treated like a little kid.

Any therapist who asked me to do that Id tell them to get lost. Im not signing nothing. I know whether Im going to committ suicide or not and the answer no matter how depressed or suicidal feeling I become will always be no. Ive been almost to catatonia before...streetbum, rock bottom depressed where I lost 30 lbs without trying and could barely move and couldnt sleep for days without taking drugs to knock me out. And I never committed suicide and never attempted suicide. And never will either.

And you know why I wont? Because I dont view my depression as a "psychological" problem or a personal weakness of character. Im also not ashamed of it. I view it as a medical illness just like diabetes or high blood pressure. I am educated enough to realize that these suicidal feelings I have sometimes when I get really depressed are occuring just because I have something wrong with me...a medical problem. A malfunctioning brain and central nervous system. I dont blame myself for it, even though the depression might be making me feel EXTREMELY guilty, like everything is my fault. Whenever I get like that, its always in the back of my mind "this is your severe depression acting up."

I cant blame myself that my brain burned out and I developed major depression. I cant blame myself that I developed a serious medical problem that requires drug treatment. If I did blame myself for it (like so many people do) I probably really would give into those suicidal feelings and urges I get from time to time, when depression becomes severe.

Thats the way I see it. And I dont go for these hokey pokey, cheesy talk therapy mindgames.

I also dont like therapists who try to control their patients in anyway, shape or form. I am a free person and I dont need to sign some "agreement."

Old School


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