Posted by Mair on January 26, 2002, at 10:15:52
In reply to Therapist wants Suicide Agreement (not to), posted by Shar on January 25, 2002, at 22:12:48
Shar - I assume this is a verbal contract? I have no experience with a time limited contract like the one you've described although both my current therapist and former therapist have certainly asked me to commit in a contractual way to certain agreements. With one it was that I wouldn't hurt myself without contacting him first, and with my current therapist, that I'll be at the next appointment unless I've called first with a very good excuse. Like you I am long on suicidal ideation and short on actual suicidal actions. Like you I also take commitments seriously. The absurd example of this is that therapist #1 actually wrote in an unsent letter to someone that I had breached our agreement because I didn't call him during an afternoon when I inventoried all of my medications and wrote a lengthy suicide letter. In my literal way of thinking, I had lived up to my part of the bargain since I hadn't actually hurt myself. I was annoyed that he would see it otherwise.
Because my ideation does rage out of control sometimes, I have been asked to reaffirm these agreements from time to time. I've always thought they were pretty worthless because if i really did intend to kill myself, the last person I'd call, in my mind, is the one person who could probably stop me. On the other hand, I have on ocassion been very grudging about acquiescing - I say yes because I want to get him/her off my back but I don't really want to say yes because in that moment, I'm not convinced that I won't commit suicide. Nonetheless, the mere fact that my "yes" is so grudging probably says something about why these contracts do have some value. I really don't want to make a promise that I'll not honor and once I've made the promise, I probably am less likely to break it.
Has your therapist ever discussed with you the kinds of agreements I've described here?
Mair
poster:Mair
thread:17208
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17229.html