Posted by sar on November 25, 2001, at 19:01:14
In reply to Re: Suicide, posted by Cass on November 25, 2001, at 18:39:47
> Thank-you for your responses. Hospitalization is not an alternative in my mind. I don't see how it could possibly help. I am going to call my pdoc again tomorrow, but I am not going to tell him just how bad things are. I don't want to go to the hospital. If my family ever found out I was hospitalized, I would bear the stigma of being "crazy". Mostly they are very unsupportive. It's difficult to get them to treat me with respect as it is.
Cass, i know what you mean...but when it comes down to the final wire, you could be a live and who gives a sh*t what they think, and the only other option you're giving yourself is *dying*?
> I know it sounds contradictory, but my self-esteem has never been higher than it is today. I don't feel badly about myself. I do not feel worthless. A lot of wonderful people appreciate me, love me and respect me. But that doesn't make my problems go away. I still have serious medical problems. I still have financial problems.sometimes feeling better can be dangerous...energy to actually harm yourself. what are your medical problems? i have extrememly serious financial problems, there are people who can help you with that kind of stuff...are *bills* anything to lose your life over?
> I love life. There was a storm a couple of days ago, and now the air is fresh and cool. The moon was stunning last night over the clouds. The beauty is intoxicating. I start to cry when I think of things in life that are so beautiful. I am going to lose those things. Tomorrow is my decision day. God help me.
this is chillingly beautiful writing, Cass...
what is it that so, so bad? you obviously love certain aspects of life and have things that you mentioned previously--good friends, a cute dog, etc--why would you want to lose the intoxicating moon, the fresh air to death.
what kind of stigma is suicide compared to checking yourself into the hospital for a few days? would your whole family have to know...? and if they did, what's the worst that could happen?
i was in the hospital myself a couple of weeks ago. the doctor there told me that homicide is considered a more mentally healthy act than suicide...what he was trying to tell suicidal-me was that the minds of suicidal people are backwards and scattered, not-at-all healthy.
ah Cass, what can i say? talk to us, please. as i posted above, i can empathize with you...i am recurringly suicidal....maybe we can help each other...?
love,
sar
poster:sar
thread:14247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14301.html