Posted by Cass on November 25, 2001, at 18:39:47
In reply to Re: Suicide » Cass, posted by Glenn Fagelson on November 25, 2001, at 14:39:36
Thank-you for your responses. Hospitalization is not an alternative in my mind. I don't see how it could possibly help. I am going to call my pdoc again tomorrow, but I am not going to tell him just how bad things are. I don't want to go to the hospital. If my family ever found out I was hospitalized, I would bear the stigma of being "crazy". Mostly they are very unsupportive. It's difficult to get them to treat me with respect as it is. I would never, ever live it down.
I know it sounds contradictory, but my self-esteem has never been higher than it is today. I don't feel badly about myself. I do not feel worthless. A lot of wonderful people appreciate me, love me and respect me. But that doesn't make my problems go away. I still have serious medical problems. I still have financial problems.
I love life. There was a storm a couple of days ago, and now the air is fresh and cool. The moon was stunning last night over the clouds. The beauty is intoxicating. I start to cry when I think of things in life that are so beautiful. I am going to lose those things. Tomorrow is my decision day. God help me.
poster:Cass
thread:14247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14297.html