Posted by kid_A on October 26, 2001, at 9:08:33
In reply to Re: 2nd bad vilbel- 2nd scepe- 2nd scout- 2nd peng » kid_A, posted by jay on October 25, 2001, at 19:31:29
yes. at least i do have some people to talk to... money is a little tight right now so im not going to my therapist for a few weeks, but there are people that i know who are familiar with all the characters involved in the plot... talked to them yesterday and im feeling better... in fact this person i talked to was also 'dumped' by the same friend... for a little more extreme a reason, but nonetheless we are both a little on the out with the same person in question...what meds do i take... the laundry list is:
(effexor) 112.5 - 150mg per day
(geodon) 20mg at night
(ambien) 5/10mg as needed at night
(remeron) 15mg only sometimes...
(xanax) .75mg three times dailyi really did find the geodon to be most helpfull in flatening out the spikes of my emotions... right now im not feeling utterly depressed, and im trying not to think of all the things that happened this week.
yes, i think they are doing whats right for them, but at the same time it feels like im being pushed away, or moreso, it feels like i was never close to begin with... its a really complicated web anyways, but they were someone i felt lullled into a sense of understanding with... i think that all changed after one dramatic event that occured much prior to this... there was kissing, which was wrong, considering she was going out w/ my best friend... from that point its all been a rollercoaster of up and down, friends, not friends... i grew so attached to her, i thought she could answer some of my questions... in the end i realised that she had changed from the person she was, to somewhat of a casual aquaintance... it's hard to let go of someone that you loved, then just were happy to be friends with... plus there is guilt and treachery and mending bad feelings w/ your best friend who you betrayed... its what originally threw me into meds, and what recently has made me up my dose of xanax per day...
i've got a big weekend comming up, a friend's going away party combined w/ a friend's birthday party, at the bar i dj at... i'll have fun, i may even see her out... im looking forward with a open heart, and clear eyes... im not going to try to carry that dog inside me that keeps snapping snapping at my heart...
dogboy
woof woof
poster:kid_A
thread:12968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011025/msgs/13001.html