Posted by Wittgensteinz on September 16, 2008, at 14:25:50
In reply to I have no idea what to talk about with my T, posted by Nadezda on September 16, 2008, at 9:57:45
Nadezda,
This situation sounds very unpleasant. A few thoughts come to mind when I read your post.
Numerous times I've asked my therapist "isn't this boring you?", "what's the value of going over this again?", "I"m being too repetitive aren't I?" - and he's always given answers like "I'm not here to be entertained, I'm here to help you, to listen", "you can talk about these things as many times as you want to - I expect that" - "you can go over these things as often as you need to" - or simply "no you don't bore me".
My point is, the reactions and anger of your therapist seem the absolute opposite. It shouldn't matter if you 'bore him' - you're not there to entertain him, he's there to help you and listen. I think it's rude and hurtful of him to tell you such a thing. I think only you know when you're ready to move on and stop discussing a certain thing - he should be patient with you. I think therapists can push their clients forward in certain ways but this seems really harsh and it's counter-productive if you end up not knowing what to say or trying to figure out what he wants you to say.
In therapy I'll try to speak whatever comes to mind - speaking ones thoughts is not easy though. Discussions might be clearly important e.g. past traumas, big past events, or trivial things which can then be interpreted. Of course sometimes I try to avoid things by talking about mundane things, and that's not so constructive, but I usually know when I'm doing this and don't feel stuck if my therapist brings me back onto the topic I was avoiding.
I think you should talk to your T about how this is making you feel, how his views of what you have to say, and what you should be doing are making the therapy difficult, unpleasant.
Maybe this has got something to do with the type of therapy you are doing, I'm not sure. I hope things improve and that you both can get back to a good understanding of what you want.
Greetings,
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:852262
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852308.html