Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2008, at 13:01:13
In reply to I have no idea what to talk about with my T, posted by Nadezda on September 16, 2008, at 9:57:45
Do you still find him helpful?
I read the topic line and thought, "Wow. I've been wondering that too at times." But when I read the body of the post, I realized that this is not a problem I have ever faced with my therapist.
He has on occasion been impatient with my wanting to talk again about something we've already talked about. But when I talk to him, he generally understands that I often need to hear the same thing many times.
He's never shut down like that.
I understand all too well the negative spirals we can get in. They happen in therapy and with my family. I try to step back and talk about the spiral. I'll say something like "I noticed we've gotten into a negative spiral." Then I mention how I see the spiral and ask for their feedback. Then I state my desire to have a positive relationship with them and ask what they think we can do to change things, or I'll say what I intend to do on my side.
But it sounds as if you've done this, and his reaction just continues the negativity.
If you search down deep inside, do you think there is any truth to what he says? Do you know what he wants? If not, and if he doesn't believe you and isn't willing to help you, or if what he wants is not what you think you need, maybe it's time to ask that most dreaded of questions. Where do you see this therapy going. Where does he see this therapy going. Does he think it's run its course? Do you?
I know it's a terrifying question. But it's not a question that means the end of a therapy relationship. I've had this conversation with my therapist on occasion when I feel we've reached the end of a particular path. There may come a day when the result is to decide that we've gone as far as we can, but so far it's just led to planning a route for the next while.
Am I totally nuts, or do I recall you recently saying that things had calmed down with your therapist and you were getting along fairly well. Is this current difficulty recent? If so, maybe this too shall pass.
poster:Dinah
thread:852262
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852294.html