Posted by Wittgenstein on December 23, 2007, at 15:14:07
In reply to So here's a question...., posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 23:17:35
Muffled and others,
I have these same problems and as a result my partner and I almost never have sex. It affects other forms of intimate touch too - hugging, surprise touching or kissing - it makes me jump out of my skin - I tolerate it - I manage it by distancing/shutting myself off. For me, sex is a mechanical process, not something emotional, I'm not there. Before now I've had to run to the bathroom afterwards to throw up. I feel tremendous guilt for not fulfilling this part of the relationship. I'm lucky that my partner doesn't push me but I feel he doesn't deserve this.
You're not alone. I'm sorry you have this. It's hard, but what is positive to see is that other babblers who had similar problems have been able to work through them in therapy - so there's hope for us.
I was thinking about your last thread about whether sex is evil. Unfortunately sex is a tool for evil (as are many things - but sex gets a lot of attention for this) as well as something that gives great pleasure and even more essentially it gives life. With no sex there could be no good or evil - we depend on it, as many life forms do.
Something I do wonder whether others experience (and I feel a bit awkward to ask)... for those who have problems with physical intimacy in relationships i.e. problems with sexual touch, do you however engage in self-pleasure (masturbation)? What I mean is, do those who have problems with physical intimacy with others tend to have the same problems with intimacy with themselves? In my case, my mind isn't there either way - I just can't - I'm wondering whether this is mostly the case.
Witti
poster:Wittgenstein
thread:802166
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802285.html