Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2006, at 17:44:05
In reply to Re: I failed again » Tamar, posted by Poet on June 22, 2006, at 9:16:06
Hi Poet,
> I think you explained the question and what you needed to talk about clearly in your post. If this accurately reflects what you said to your T than it's his fuzzy listening and not the way you said it.Yeah. At first I blamed myself again. But in fact I said how I felt very clearly. More clearly than I ever have before. More clearly than I could have imagined until this week when I felt desperate enough to spell it out. And he still didn’t hear it. There’s only one explanation (I think): he doesn’t want to hear it. I could have it written in skywriting over his house and he still wouldn’t see it.
> It seems to me that he is reluctant to talk about his relationship with you in any context. He would like you to talk about your father, but not as it relates to him. Maybe he's so uncomfortable with it that his defense is to just say he doesn't understand what you're getting act.
That makes a lot of sense. On the other hand, we have been talking about the relationship quite a bit over the last few weeks. We had to after all the forgetting.
> I understand your frustration and all I can suggest is that you ask him what doesn't he understand. What can you clarify for him. That seems like a lot of work on your part though. Darn him. Maybe Annierose is right and you should find a therapist who does psychodynamic therapy. I know how hard beginning a therapist search (again) will be. Sorry, I wish I had some other ideas for you.
I guess if I want to keep working with him I shall have to be patient but keep pressing it. I don’t mind doing a lot of work. But I worry that part of the problem might be that he feels criticised and of course if I pursue it he’s bound to feel more criticised. I’ve been trying to indicate how much I value him, but of course I don’t know what his issues are.
Thanks so much for your support. I really appreciate it.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:660078
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/660230.html