Posted by pinkeye on March 8, 2005, at 17:54:12
In reply to Re: :-) » alexandra_k, posted by pinkeye on March 8, 2005, at 17:42:22
that actually reminds me of something which I had forgotten.
With my ex T, apart from a few glaring mistakes on my part which he wanted me to stop doing immediately, like shouting at others etc, rest of the stuff - I was the one who kept willing to change and kept bugging him to give me some insight and guidance. That was probably why it ended up being so effective. HE let me talk whatever I wanted, and let me lead myself. He was just willing to share a few insights he had, and never kept trying on moulding me into some person which he liked. That is why probably I ended up changing really. If he had insisted on changing me all the time, I would have got fed up too.My new therapist initially started off pushing me in a direction she wanted, and then I kind of explained to her. I kept steering the therapy towards things I wanted to work on (thanks to a suggestion given by my exT), and it ended up working to my advantage. Now she also understands and is willing to just let me lead myself.
I think you should communicate that clearly upfront to any therapist that you go - and ask them upfront if they will be willing to just be a guide for you and not be a captain.
poster:pinkeye
thread:467966
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/468376.html