Posted by 10derHeart on March 6, 2005, at 23:00:47
In reply to Re: Hey! My therapist's going out of town! » annierose, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2005, at 22:23:46
Dinah,
I like that anology to your son. Made a lot of sense to me. As far as therapists holding and challenging, that one is tougher for me to wrap my mind around. Seems the relationship can operate on several levels at once and change quickly in some sessions I've had, so that I'm left not quite knowing which was happening when.
I think your description of wishing he could use humor is getting close to the key, though. I find it's so powerful at conveying two messages simultaneously to another person, without either message being overpowering.
This has reminded me of something. About 2 years ago, former T. and I were talking about something surrounding the fact I'd been getting therapy for a little over a year. I think I was obsessing about the length of time or something. (This was a time when I saw him 1X a month for meds only and was doing therapy w/someone else.) He asked a question (gently) about whether or not I thought I wanted to get well. Being in extreme defensive-mode, and in the infancy stage of knowing him or understanding how he "worked," I snapped back, "Excuse me, but I don't consider myself to be sick, if you don't mind." I was instantly looking quite hurt and upset, I'm sure. After thinking for a moment, he looked at me very kindly (like being "held"), and said with just the right amount of light sarcasm, "Well, maybe if you've been coming in for over a year, you're sicker than you thought." This was the "challenge" aspect to me, for the stage I was in then. I remember he didn't "feel" like he'd pulled back any or adopted a fighting stance. Just like he was prodding me to see the truth while still holding empathy in the room.
That may not make sense, and is probably a simplistic example compared to what you meant. But the idea of using humor brought the memory back strongly.
poster:10derHeart
thread:466711
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/467615.html