Posted by Pfinstegg on October 15, 2004, at 22:21:13
In reply to Re: your T » Pfinstegg, posted by shrinking violet on October 15, 2004, at 21:01:05
You do have a lot of good things with her- liking her, and feeling that she likes you, her warmth, openness, occasional self-disclosure. Could you keep going a bit longer, and try to bring up exactly what is hurting you in the relationship? From what you have said, much of the pain you are feeling doesn't have words readily attached to it (at least not yet). You would probably feel heard and understood if she listened, and used her own feelings to empathize with you. It doesn't need to be verbal right now- it just needs to be your feelings and her feelings meeting and being in tune. This is probably the hardest and most stressful thing Ts have to do.-it's much easier for them to talk! Sometimes just silence, or just a few words, communicates so much, and helps us begin to regulate our own pain better than any large amount of words could. Could you ask for exactly this, and see what follows? It seems such a shame to drop out of therapy when you are clearly searching to have a good experience with it. And it's not good to leave feeling so let down and alone- and feeling you are at fault somehow. You simply aren't at fault in any way.. In another thread, we have been talking about the importance of the client's and therapist's right hemispheres being in tune in order for people to really start feeling better. You could download a paper by Allen Schore on this topic, and maybe talk about it with her. His ideas are really wonderful.
Please let us know what happens - and I do wish you a good experience with her.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:403120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/403703.html