Posted by Dinah on January 6, 2004, at 22:42:39
I honestly still don't understand why he got as mad as he did. It's not like I did what I did on purpose or anything. I forgot to ask the EMDR therapist something and called this morning to ask before I signed the release. When she hadn't called back by the time to go to my session, I called back and just said, never mind, I'll sign the release. I figured since it was related to what my therapist was going to talk to her about anyway, I'd save her the bother of two calls by just having him incorporate it. It was no big thing, really, as far as I could see. Well, he thought I wasn't taking responsibility for my own life and insisted I call back and ask her myself. As it turns out, she can't answer it until she gets the info from him anyway. But even if that wasn't true, at the worst I made a misjudgement, that's all. I don't think getting angry was called for. I told him he seemed to get angry an awful lot with me. He said not all that often, but I think he's wrong. That's when I asked if I was annoying and he agreed that yes I was at times.
I dunno. He is mad at me an awful lot. my husband is mad at me an awful lot. My bosses are mad at me an awful lot too. I feel like just giving up. I try to be a good girl, and still everyone is mad at me. So what's the point. What if I'm just annoying, no matter how good I try to be. What's the use of trying to be with people. Even the person I pay to help me finds me annoying. I think Harry and I should run away. Harry almost never gets mad at me.
I feel stupid crying too hard to fall asleep because my therapist finds me annoying. And my husband finds me contemptible. And at the moment, I'm not too crazy about me either.
I'm trying to see the funny side of this. I'm even trying to get angry. But all I want to do is curl up and never have any interaction with anyone ever again. I think I'll cancel for Friday. I don't need another person in my life that finds me substandard. I've got my husband for that. And my parents and my employers as backups. I don't need to pay extra for it.
And now I hate myself for whining.
poster:Dinah
thread:297437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040102/msgs/297437.html