Posted by mair on December 25, 2004, at 15:22:01
In reply to I made it through., posted by Dinah on December 18, 2004, at 20:57:25
Dinah - I haven't lurked here in so long; I didn't know about your father at all. I'm so sorry.
You know I have alot of mixed feelings about my father, who died about 2 months ago. My bigger struggle is to draw up feelings of loss, which seem to have eluded me.
I'm not sure things are better with a cremation, or maybe, if you're really close to someone, cremation is better. I've fallen apart at funerals when I've walked in and seen a casket. Something about thinking of the person you knew lying there amongst you. My Dad was cremated and it made it seem like he flew away so quickly. There was a memorial service 3 days later and a funeral service the day after that and I just felt he was long gone by the time either one of them occurred. His urn was at the funeral - it certainly didn't make it seem like he was there in any sense.
Although I believe in cremation, I like the idea of a cemetary plot - I like the idea of being able to tend to one who has died - to be able to talk to them. I just can't feel that same identification with an urn. How far is the cemetary from where you live - it is a pretty setting.
Sure you can always keep an urn with you - but it doesn't give you the same place identification.
I've got so stop blathering - What's going to happen with your mother now?
Fondly
Mair
poster:mair
thread:431436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040811/msgs/434061.html