Posted by mair on October 18, 2004, at 16:18:38
My father died 8 days ago, at the age of 84. He had been in declining health for several years, and was frequently hospitalized, but we only knew that he wasn't going to recover from his most recent malady about 10 days before he died. I'm one of 5 siblings. For the last several days before he died, we were all there with my much disliked stepmother, taking turns caring for him. Being the person that he was, we had 2 full funeral/memorial services, on successive days, both pretty emotionally draining, and there was alot of stress arising from the family dynamics of 5 adult children and his wife residing in the same house and caring for him and then trying to agree on arrangements. I only just came home at the end of last week.
We all had mixed feelings about my father and at times I've had alot of difficulty with him. However, it's like I can feel nothing (negative or positive), and haven't been able to show/feel any emotion either before or since he died. This is unique to me. There's been alot of sobbing going on by other family members/friends etc.
It makes me feel that I'm some cold emotionless automaton, and I guess part of me is a bit concerned that this is just going to morph into a more serious depression.
poster:mair
thread:404484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040811/msgs/404484.html