Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2010, at 7:51:23
In reply to Proly. » Conundrum, posted by muffled on November 7, 2010, at 23:49:21
I don't think Conundrum meant to say the things you said in your response to him. Do you think he meant to say those things?
I'm not sure Dr. Bob meant to say the things you "heard" when he blocked you either. Is it possible that you heard him say a lot of horrible things about you while he might have been giving an entirely different message? Something like "playing around with the auto-asterisker is something I would prefer you not do on this site."
Is there any benefit to you in interpreting a block or a post in such a negative way? My husband used to do that when I remonstrated with him about something. He'd say he was a terrible husband or a horrible father and get all upset. Naturally he is neither one of those things. He had just done something I would prefer he not do, or that may not have been wise to do. He was adding the rest as an interpretation of what I meant. There was a rather immediate benefit to him in that I would drop whatever I was saying to him to comfort him and assure him that he was not a terrible father or husband. I would certainly feel that he had heard what I said and taken it to heart. Perhaps it also protected him psychologically. From feeling the hurt of what I actually said, he focused on his interpretation. Those are just a couple of things I can think of. And I want to be clear that I don't think he did it with conscious intent. Not at all.
Maybe it's protective to consider Dr. Bob's block as meaning more than it likely meant. Maybe it means that you'll never trust Dr. Bob again, or you'll never let him hurt you again. Maybe it discourages him from blocking you again. Or perhaps there is no protective function, just a function of how you feel about yourself.
Might there be benefits to other interpretations?
I'm not saying that I know the truth about your feelings about Dr. Bob, or that I'm correct in what I'm saying. I'm just throwing the idea out there. Perhaps it would be something to talk about with your therapist. Or not.
I really don't think Conundrum meant anything so negative by his post though. And I hate for you to feel such pain about it.
poster:Dinah
thread:969088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/969144.html