Posted by Dr. Bob on July 2, 2009, at 9:56:55
In reply to Re: block avoidance » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 2, 2009, at 7:25:52
> in general I'm careful about it even with big things. If I think my friend will be open to my opinions, I'd likely give them. But if they don't seem open, I'd likely refrain. ... It's a rare person that I feel entirely free to tell exactly what I think in all circumstances.
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> It would depend on the type of relationship we have. And even then there are limits.
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> Which is not to say that posters haven't gently let me know when they I was reacting in a way that wasn't in my best interests or interpreting things incorrectly or personalizing something that wasn't personal. In terms of what was in my best interests, or with concern or humor. I've certainly benefited from and appreciated those efforts, because they clearly came from affection and caring.
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> But the ability to influence other posters is not as great as I think you think it is, at least not in my experience. And it depends a *lot* on personal relationship and on context. That's what I meant by it being useful to pragmatically discuss the realities of limited power.I agree, there would be limits, it would depend on the circumstances, and on the relationship, and it would be important to be careful, not necessarily to say exactly what you think, and for the other person to be at least somewhat open. It could be done gently and with concern and affection and caring and maybe humor.
> > there are ways of negotiating an apology in such a way as to make it possible, if that is the intent
And it could be appreciated, too.
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:900430
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/904476.html