Posted by Dr. Bob on June 30, 2009, at 10:07:10
In reply to Re: block avoidance, posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2009, at 5:27:14
> SERIOUSLY?? Just enforcing? Enforcing what? You WROTE the guidelines.
>
> Those words sound as if you want to avoid the responsibility for her block.
>
> Your new kick is to blame "the community". You are just trying to shift blame, imho.
>
> bay> When one shifts responsibilty from self to others ... then I have to wonder what in the world.
>
> Zeba> Oh f*ck*ng happy day when you finally choose to acknowledge your role in it all and at least meet us half way.
>
> alexandra_kI acknowledge that I wrote the guidelines, too.
What I'm trying to shift is power. Or, to be more precise, self-efficacy, since we already share power. As I said before, I wonder if some posters may be attached (not by choice, of course) to feelings of powerlessness. But empathy, communication, reassurance, and checking in give you influence (a form of power). But the flip side of power is responsibility.
--
> I did not see posts aimed at Happyflower to encourage her to make amends.
I didn't, either. Though I did see one that showed her how she might interpret things more charitably.
> I think we all know that, rarely, someone will start posting here with ongoing destructive intentions. Those people should be blocked permanently.
Why permanently? I see it as more supportive to welcome Babblers back after blocks.
> Even though there is a very thoughtful discussion (below) about the desirability of shorter blocks and helping people settle their differences, you have not given your opinion on that thread. Several posters there have emphasized the emotional damage which can occur with long, escalating blocks- as well as he near impossibility of those posters regaining a trusting, useful position here. Not one person supported long or escalating blocks.
>
> twinleafBe the change you wish to see. Show other posters how they might interpret things more charitably. Encourage them to apologize. Suggest they not address those they can't get along with. In those and other ways, use your influence to help them avoid long, escalating blocks.
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:900430
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/903967.html