Posted by Dinah on May 6, 2009, at 16:56:47
In reply to Re: Subject line change, posted by alexandra_k on May 6, 2009, at 16:12:04
I really don't understand.
> And that is the issue, really. That Bob thinks he has some direct line to a verdict from on high such that he (and only he) can be trusted with judgements of whether someone is in violation or not. His careful selection of people who do their best to do 'exactly would Bob would do were he here' (and their acceptance of his ultimate authority).
The rules are his, so the judgment of whether someone is in violation of the rules really is his. The judgment on what the rules should be might differ. But the rules are what he says they are. This is his site.
If I ran a site, or owned a company, I think I'd want to appoint people to deputize who basically agreed with my goals and who were willing to do what I asked them to do. That Dr. Bob does this is not particularly bothersome to me. Why would he wish to have deputies that acted in ways that would be contrary to what he would wish for Babble.
I don't think of him as feeling like he has a direct line to a verdict from on high. I think of it as him having a direct line to the pocketbook that pays for this site.
That being said, I agree with his overarching rules, although we of course differ on specific interpretations at times.
>
> That Bob thinks that the way to be a friend to a person is to work hard to justify HIS judgements. To basically question ones friends - to basically accept Bob's judgement and come to view them as guilty. To work hard to get ones friends to change in order to tow Bob's line.
>
> He isn't God.I don't think of it this way either. Dr. Bob isn't God. He's the owner of this facility. I don't think he wants anyone to view their friends as guilty because he says so. And I always support you to do what's best for you, and that's got nothing to do with Bob or his rules. If it's best for you to post here, and give and receive support from other posters, I would support that which would enable you to do that. If it's best for you not to post here, I would totally support you in that choice too.
>
> He doesn't respect our point of view. He side-tracks the process by bringing up false dichotomies like 'my way or total anarchy and hate speech'.He can respect our point of view without agreeing with it. I can respect your point of view without agreeing with it. If we convince him that we're right, he is willing to change. But convincing is getting him to see things in a way other than how he now sees them. I doubt anyone can yell loudly enough to get him to change. Or express enough anger at him to get him to change.
> He posted something before about the progression from Monarch to Oligarchy to Democracy (often by killing the monarch) to Anarchy to Monarchy again. I guess there was something to that that grabbed him... Instead of questioning 'does it have to be that way? What are the factors responsible for the progression such that we might alter things and have things progress differently' he seems determined to embrace this thing where we will... Kill him. I guess a friend might try and bring this kind of thing to his attention... The self destructive nature of it all. Is that good for the boards I wonder? Professional help is probably what is needed. Good luck to him finding a health professional who can adequately empathize lol.I hope that isn't true. I empathize with him. I empathize with you. My therapist empathizes with Dr. Bob, and with disaffected posters (including me at times).
Sometimes I agree with Dr. Bob, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I agree with fellow posters, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I get angry with Dr. Bob or fellow posters. But that doesn't mean I can't empathize with any of them.
Even if I don't understand why, I can understand that you're angry and hurt.
And I don't want to add to that. So if it's better that I not add my two cents worth, I'll try to refrain.
poster:Dinah
thread:888433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090302/msgs/894504.html