Posted by Minnie-Haha on May 22, 2005, at 17:42:02
In reply to Re: Dr Bob: question about being blocked or PBC'd? » Gabbi-x-2, posted by alexandra_k on May 22, 2005, at 16:46:31
> > ... Whether others think it’s valid or not, I *do* feel put down by the behavior we were talking about, and others feel the same.
>
> It is undeniable that people do feel hurt by the behaviour. But... Some people do not feel hurt by the behaviour. People agree in feeling hurt and accused if someone posts something attacking - all people would respond in the same way. But with respect to some behaviour different people feel differently about it.
>
> It is interesting to me that the people who don't mind it try to see what Lou is trying to do with his behaviour... The people who do mind it seem more interested in arguing that the behaviour *in itself* is offensive.
>
> But the trouble is that if the behaviour in itself is offensive then there must be something wrong with the responses of the people who are not offended...These last three paragraphs don't make sense to me. There was discussion here once I assume about cursing that lead to some changes. Perhaps there were some who argued what the cursers intended (or did not intend) by their cursing. Others were just offended by the behavior itself. Neither the offended or the un-offended parties were wrong. Some just found the behavior offensive and others did not. Enough were offended to finally do something about it. It seems to me that enough people here have felt offended by the behavior we're talking about to consider a policy on it. (I won't here hash out whether or not cursing is uncivil, nor will I re-hash why the kind of behavior we're discussing might be uncivil, because those who believe they are have already presented their reasons.)
> > > Here you acknowledge that larger boards “make” some feel uncomfortable.
>
> Nope. I acknowldege that some people respond in that way...OK. But either way, you don't tell those who respond by feeling uncomfortable that they should own their emotions, abandon their hope for smaller boards, and sink or swim on the larger boards.
> ... That that is why the very idea of them isn't intrinsically nasty - some people see them as a good thing and here is why.
If it isn't intrinsically nasty to consider creating smaller boards because some people respond to the larger boards by feeling uncomfortable, then I don't follow how it's intrinsically nasty for those of us who would like to curb the kind of behavior we're talking about because it offends us (makes us uncomfortable).
> > > > Feeling put down is not an inevitable result or response to the behaviour. It is about owning your emotional responses as your emotional responses. Taking responsibility for your own responses rather than blaming someone else for *making* you feel that way.
>
> Sorry.
> This started to Gabbi
> And ended up going to Minnie.OK. But since some of what you wrote was in direct response to what I wrote, I replied.
> Gabbi - I hope that made a bit of sense.
>
> I don't really know what more to say.
> Good luck to you peoples.
> Hope ya don't get blocked anymore.I hope so too.
:o
:)
poster:Minnie-Haha
thread:500533
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050517/msgs/501305.html