Posted by alexandra_k on May 22, 2005, at 16:46:31
In reply to Re: Dr Bob: question about being blocked or PBC'd? » Minnie-Haha, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 22, 2005, at 16:25:55
> I find statement offensive actually.Or: 'I respond to the statement by taking offence'.
>If it's acknowledged that people can be "allowed" ; 0 to feel hurt or offended by put downs and insults, then less obvious things can be hurtful too.
Everybody responds to accusations and insults and putdowns by feeling hurt or offended or whatever.
Whereas with the 'less obvious things' people diverge on how they respond.
>It's ludicrous to me to have only one half of that particular belief system in effect.
???
One side is that if someone posts something accusing or attacking you then you can expect that they will be warned / blocked.If you post something accusing or attacking then you can expect to be warned / blocked.
If someone posts something that doesn't accuse or attack you - but you respond by feeling hurt or accused then they won't get blocked.
But on the upside... If you post something that doesn't accuse or attack someone else - but they respond by feeling hurt or accused then you won't get blocked.
Sounds fair enough to me...
> Whether others think it’s valid or not, I *do* feel put down by the behavior we were talking about, and others feel the same.It is undeniable that people do feel hurt by the behaviour. But... Some people do not feel hurt by the behaviour. People agree in feeling hurt and accused if someone posts something attacking - all people would respond in the same way. But with respect to some behaviour different people feel differently about it.
It is interesting to me that the people who don't mind it try to see what Lou is trying to do with his behaviour... The people who do mind it seem more interested in arguing that the behaviour *in itself* is offensive.
But the trouble is that if the behaviour in itself is offensive then there must be something wrong with the responses of the people who are not offended...
Is this making any sense at all??????
> The very idea of such a proposition “made” people feel this way – some even declared they would leave the community if this happened.Clearly it didn't make *everyone* feel that way. Some people don't find the very idea offensive... It doesn't seem to be anything about the idea, it seems to be about all sorts of other associations that some people have made with the idea...
>Those feelings seem to be acknowledged, and to-date no smaller boards have been created.
No. Dr Bob doesn't seem to have gotten around to it yet... But it is in the pipeline.
> > “Why hasn’t he [Dr. Bob] implemented the idea already? Do you really believe that people’s negative responses have been completely unrelated to his decision to hold off? … I personally take all this as evidence that he has shown reluctance to implement something that some people feel this strongly about. That shows me that he is reluctant to hurt people over this. Maybe he was hoping that people would come around in time… Maybe he is still hoping this... ”
Sure.
But I don't see how his reluctance to hurt has anything do do with whether there is anything intrinsically wrong with creating small boards...> > Here you acknowledge that larger boards “make” some feel uncomfortable.
Nope. I acknowldege that some people respond in that way... That that is why the very idea of them isn't intrinsically nasty - some people see them as a good thing and here is why.
> > > Feeling put down is not an inevitable result or response to the behaviour. It is about owning your emotional responses as your emotional responses. Taking responsibility for your own responses rather than blaming someone else for *making* you feel that way.Sorry.
This started to Gabbi
And ended up going to Minnie.Gabbi - I hope that made a bit of sense.
I don't really know what more to say.
Good luck to you peoples.
Hope ya don't get blocked anymore.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500533
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050517/msgs/501292.html