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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rskontos on October 2, 2007, at 22:53:16
I have just learned more history about my screwed up family which means I am more messed up than I knew and I don't know how to deal. I am searching for a new T and dont see my neuro until Fri to get a referral so you guys are my only outlet unti then. I am not sure I can make it.... this stuff is heavy and I am shaking while typing. I didn't even suspect since my memories are so suppressed but that probably why when I tried to access them I hit a wall that felt real although it was in my head.My husband is gone and it is just my son and I here and I had to dissociate until he went to bed. I also did that while I was hearing it from my aunt. Anyone there.....I need someone to talk to......I can't say anything about it cause it hurts so much.
Posted by muffled on October 3, 2007, at 1:36:53
In reply to help....bad news, posted by rskontos on October 2, 2007, at 22:53:16
> I have just learned more history about my screwed up family which means I am more messed up than I knew and I don't know how to deal.
**Well, mebbe you kinda DID know...:-(
But to hear it from someone else when you are not ready :-(
You are NOT *more* messed up. You are the same. Just now you have more info that maybe you weren't(or is anyone EVER-ready to hear :-(
You are the same.>I am searching for a new T and dont see my neuro until Fri to get a referral so you guys are my only outlet unti then. I am not sure I can make it.... this stuff is heavy and I am shaking while typing.
**You CAN make it. Its SOOOOOOOOOOO hard, but you have the advantage of 'parts' to help out...
And yes, babble is great. It has its flaws, be wary, but mostly its great.>I didn't even suspect since my memories are so suppressed but that probably why when I tried to access them I hit a wall that felt real although it was in my head.My husband is gone and it is just my son and I here and I had to dissociate until he went to bed.
**thats OK. As long as your son is safe, thats fine. Dissociating can be a very useful tool.
Now can you find ways to self soothe? Things that make you feel better/calmer? Deep breaths. A good book? Just gazing at your beautiful child? Praying to a higher power? Knitting? Cleaning? Talking to a friend? Baking? these are some ideas. Not T.V. though, T.V. can be triggering unexpectedly.>I also did that while I was hearing it from my aunt. Anyone there.....I need someone to talk to......I can't say anything about it cause it hurts so much.
**Sorry it hurts :-(
Just try and remember, this sounds silly, but emotions DO pass...they ease up some from time to time, and then we can breath for a bit.
You are the same person you were before you had this new info. You've had a shock though :-(
I think reality can be especially hard for dissociatives to handle sometimes...
But here it is.
And you have made it this far.
And you gonna be OK.
And if its your ikid thats freaking too, mebbe you can rock and chant something like'its OK' over and over until you fall asleep.
Hope you can settle with this some soon.
And find a T that 'fits'.
Maybe you could work on a list of questions to ask prospective T's?
And I have read some good ideas bout T hunting and questions to ask on the internet.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by Dory on October 3, 2007, at 13:53:42
In reply to help....bad news, posted by rskontos on October 2, 2007, at 22:53:16
like muffled said, you're not more messed up... kind of like me being bipolar.. i'm bipolar whether i know the dx or not. You're the same person, but i think trying to handle the information is overloading.
i seem to have missed some posts maybe... did you try to reach your T again? no response?
unfortunately people don't seem to use chat much during the day... so immediate conversation is not usually available.
post though.. write, write and write some more. Write here or keep emailing me, or write someplace just for you. writing gets it "out there" instead of just inside.. it also allows you to think stuff through and be able to retrace your thoughts.
Posted by muffled on October 4, 2007, at 22:38:42
In reply to help....bad news, posted by rskontos on October 2, 2007, at 22:53:16
Posted by rskontos on October 5, 2007, at 12:03:15
In reply to Hope you OK. Best wishes to you. (nm) » rskontos, posted by muffled on October 4, 2007, at 22:38:42
Hey muffled, thanks for checking in. I am doing, I can't tell if I am better yet. Probably have a long road ahead. Today I saw my neuro. We decided that what is going on probably isn't partials. And it is hard to induce them, so we are going to go down on topamax back to the level for migraine relief, and with therapy see if what is going on peaks. If the black-outs, lost of time things increase then maybe they can do tests to see if they are partials or not. But based on what I told her, she doesn't think so. So for now though she did give me samples of lexapro and a prescription of it if I want it. If my T doesn't work with a pdoc or can refer me to one she can, I go back in 6 weeks. She is a good neuro. She said if I needed anything else until the lex kicks in to let her know. If I have seizures lex is ok with them. I feel drained as I had to dissociate to get thru the appt. so I didn't do anything weird with her. Yesterday was more of the same. When I told my H about my bad news it did not go well but I can't worry about him. This is my time to try and heal myself and he will just have to understand. Of course my friend that I shared this with told me I did marry a man who is not the best time of person a person with my type of disorder to marry (of course I would do that) as they are safe, I can live them as I would not bond to them. She said since my son is 14 I have three years to try to bond with him or we will be in trouble after he goes to school. I can't worry about that now. I feel dull right now. I go to T tomorrow. Wish me luck. I will talking to her about weekly T, if she can provide I will asking for a referral. I only hope my little girl doesn't take over and not allow me to do the asking for what I need. Which is often what takes over. I better make a list and hand it to her before I walk in and sit down. That way I know it be handled before anyone else takes over.
Again, muffled thanks. I am here. Thats the most I can say but it does help. RK
Posted by B2chica on October 5, 2007, at 13:08:58
In reply to Re: Hope you OK. Best wishes to you., posted by rskontos on October 5, 2007, at 12:03:15
RK Good luck, you'll do good.
glad your neuro is so understanding.
and perfect idea of list. i do that many times and it helps big time. and if littleone shows up she can maybe draw a flower on it to make it pretty for T.take care
b2c.
Posted by rskontos on October 5, 2007, at 15:00:23
In reply to Re: Hope you OK. Best wishes to you., posted by B2chica on October 5, 2007, at 13:08:58
b2c, thanks I needed that last part of littleone for the first laugh I have had since all this started!!!!! If I dont laugh I would go crazy!!!! Maybe I'll take some crayons in case lol......rk
Posted by muffled on October 5, 2007, at 23:58:39
In reply to Re: Hope you OK. Best wishes to you., posted by B2chica on October 5, 2007, at 13:08:58
>
> RK Good luck, you'll do good.
> glad your neuro is so understanding.
> and perfect idea of list. i do that many times and it helps big time. and if littleone shows up she can maybe draw a flower on it to make it pretty for T.
>
> take care
> b2c.*yup lists EXCELLENT.
My ikid proly too shy to draw,,,
She more intellectual I think.
Sometimes we get creative with fonts when we type stuff for faxes...
M
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