![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on March 23, 2001, at 15:42:16
Is it considered a psychotic symptom? Just curious, because for the first time today I heard a psychiatric nurse refer to it as that. Thank you- judy
Posted by Craig on March 24, 2001, at 1:44:45
In reply to a quick question on dissociation, posted by judy1 on March 23, 2001, at 15:42:16
Just because someone dissociates, it doesn't mean that they are psychotic. I believe that the nurse is incorrect. I have a dissociative disorder and I'm not psychotic. Even psychiatrists agree about me about that.
About a year or two ago, I attended a meeting about atypical antipsychotics where the speaker was a pharmacist with a doctorate who works at a highly rated hospital nearby. After her presentation, a pharmacist in the audience asked her about atypical antipsychotics such as Zyprexa and Risperdal beginning to be prescribed for bipolar disorder and asked her to comment on this new practice. I couldn't believe it when she insisted, despite protests from other members of the audience, that these drugs were *only* given to psychotic patients!! As Dr. Bob says, "Don't necessarily believe everything you hear."
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> Is it considered a psychotic symptom? Just curious, because for the first time today I heard a psychiatric nurse refer to it as that. Thank you- judy
Posted by Craig on March 25, 2001, at 1:38:13
In reply to Re: a quick question on dissociation » judy1, posted by Craig on March 24, 2001, at 1:44:45
Judy, since this was the only post from 3/24 that was archived, you probably missed it. I know how hard it is to sift through all the posts when the "yellow tags" don't show up anymore, so here it is. My apologies if you've already read it.
==========================================================
Just because someone dissociates, it doesn't mean that they are psychotic. I believe that the nurse is incorrect. I have a dissociative disorder and I'm not psychotic. Even psychiatrists agree about me about that.
About a year or two ago, I attended a meeting about atypical antipsychotics where the speaker was a pharmacist with a doctorate who works at a highly rated hospital nearby. After her presentation, a pharmacist in the audience asked her about atypical antipsychotics such as Zyprexa and Risperdal beginning to be prescribed for bipolar disorder and asked her to comment on this new practice. I couldn't believe it when she insisted, despite protests from other members of the audience, that these drugs were *only* given to psychotic patients!! As Dr. Bob says, "Don't necessarily believe everything you hear."
========================================================
> Is it considered a psychotic symptom? Just curious, because for the first time today I heard a psychiatric nurse refer to it as that. Thank you- judy
Posted by judy1 on March 25, 2001, at 14:04:10
In reply to Re: a quick question on dissociation, posted by Craig on March 25, 2001, at 1:38:13
Craig,
Thank you for reposting. May I ask what type of dissociation you experience (symptoms) and how it is being treated? I have a million questions, but I'll wait. Thank you!- judy
Posted by Craig on March 26, 2001, at 2:01:54
In reply to Re: a quick question on dissociation » Craig, posted by judy1 on March 25, 2001, at 14:04:10
I dropped out of treatment for MPD(now DID) in 1988. I did the opposite of what therapists said I should do, so please remember that. If you have a doctor you trust, I encourage you to listen to your doctor and not to me. Having said that, I told my psychiatric history in a thread about dissociation in 1999. It starts here http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990401/msgs/4399.html and my history is on 4/5, 4/6 and 4/8. (Sorry it's so long.)
==================================================
> Craig,
> Thank you for reposting. May I ask what type of dissociation you experience (symptoms) and how it is being treated? I have a million questions, but I'll wait. Thank you!- judy
Posted by judy1 on March 26, 2001, at 9:36:45
In reply to Re: a quick question on dissociation » judy1, posted by Craig on March 26, 2001, at 2:01:54
I found your posts invaluable; I too am dxed bipolar (rapid cycling) and panic and dissociative diorder (probably NOS). No one is attempting to 'integrate personalities", as far as I'm aware there is a manic me and a depressed me- haven't seen euthymic for a while. What I have found is a therp that strictly does DBT, and I spend a lot of time trying to ground myself. I am sure you are quite aware how debilitating that can be (especially since I seem to self-injure to bring myself out). Anyway I need to bring my son to school and will probably post later (if you don't mind) take care, judy
Posted by judy1 on March 26, 2001, at 13:19:23
In reply to Re: a quick question on dissociation » Craig, posted by judy1 on March 26, 2001, at 9:36:45
Hi,
So you are in therapy now? I read about the Chicago doc, and know about all the scandals surrounding him. I'm very sorry you had to go through such negative experiences. My therp mentioned a hosp. specializing I think in dissociation and SIB (I'll say SIB now because people say SI for suicidal ideation, and while I experience that- my cutting isn't part of it). Anyway I freaked, maybe you saw the thread- I've also had very negative experiences in hospitals. I think my dr.'s main goal is to get my rapid cycling to stop- if I'm not depressed I don't dissociate or self injure. I wish you could find a shrink/therapist to trust, I know how difficult that is and feel very fortunate to have mine. I KNOW he won't hurt me, and that is everything for me. Please let me know how you are and what kind of treatment/meds you are doing, if any. Take care, judy
Posted by Craig on March 27, 2001, at 2:59:38
In reply to Again to Craig, posted by judy1 on March 26, 2001, at 13:19:23
Judy, I wish I knew a way that would help you stop the self-injury. It must be terrifying. I haven't cut myself, but have tried different ways of shocking myself out of it. When I was in my twenties, I went through a phase of punching walls. What sort of things does your therapist suggest you do to ground yourself?
I quit therapy in 1988. I just can't go through it anymore. In 1998, I began seeing a psychopharmacologist and he is my only connection to the mental health field. He dxed me bipolar II and has me on Lamictal, Topamax and Zyprexa. I'm better than I was, but still have a ways to go.
After all that you have been through Judy, it amazes me how hard you still keep fighting to get well. I have a great deal of respect for you. I read many of your posts and usually have some idea of what's going on in your life; and yet no matter how much pain you are in, you still reach out to help others. How can I help you?
==================================================
> Hi,
> So you are in therapy now? I read about the Chicago doc, and know about all the scandals surrounding him. I'm very sorry you had to go through such negative experiences. My therp mentioned a hosp. specializing I think in dissociation and SIB (I'll say SIB now because people say SI for suicidal ideation, and while I experience that- my cutting isn't part of it). Anyway I freaked, maybe you saw the thread- I've also had very negative experiences in hospitals. I think my dr.'s main goal is to get my rapid cycling to stop- if I'm not depressed I don't dissociate or self injure. I wish you could find a shrink/therapist to trust, I know how difficult that is and feel very fortunate to have mine. I KNOW he won't hurt me, and that is everything for me. Please let me know how you are and what kind of treatment/meds you are doing, if any. Take care, judy
Posted by judy1 on March 28, 2001, at 19:37:45
In reply to Re: Again to Craig » judy1, posted by Craig on March 27, 2001, at 2:59:38
Dear Craig,
Thank you for writing such nice things and offering to help. I had a really bad night last night; I saw my shrink yesterday and while he is always careful with me, it doesn't take much to trigger me and I cut. I called him today and wondered if seeing him and my therp might be worsening things? He felt her mentioning the hospital might have gotten me going and he said he had spoken to her at length how threatened I feel by it. I guess it's things like this that make me wonder if that's why you dropped out of therapy. I'm on lamictal and klonopin and xanax (just stopped risperdal), I had a lot of cognitive problems with topamax. When I see my therp she writes a lot of things down on paper and gives them to me- I have stickers that say feet on them in my car and on my purse, etc- if I concentrate hard on my feet and curl my toes, I really don't zone out. The paper today says my son needs me (I felt really suicidal when I saw her) and I start getting into that negative trap where I think he's better off without me, but she said no child is better w/o his parent. As bad as things were with my father, when he committed suicide (I was 18)- I know how awful I felt and still do, so I don't want to do that to my son. It also says to play with my animals- I have a horse and cat, dogs and a very loud parrot and to walk in my yard and notice the flowers and birds. Some of these may sound really simplistic to you, but it helps me in the day- night is my bad time. My therp was dxed with DID and she has written books with another psychologist- Tracy Alderman- maybe you can find some useful stuff. One of the interesting things that happened yesterday was my shrink said the pharmacy called him for a refill of my xanax and he asked the pharmacist how I appeared and the pharmacist said lately I 'appeared together'. I told my shrink that over the years i have developed the skill to appear perfectly normal for a limited amount of time no matter how bad I feel with 'authority figures'. I learned that skill in hospitals, where if you say the right thing to the shrink or judge if they want to give you ECT, you get out. I think my shrink was horrified, but then he has probably never been in restraints where I go bezerk because i think I'm going to be raped and they stick a shot of haldol in me which shuts me up but not my mind. I'm truly sorry if I said things that have bothered you, I have no one who really understands this, maybe you do? Take care, judy
Posted by Craig on March 29, 2001, at 2:39:10
In reply to Re: Again to Craig (may have some triggering stuff, posted by judy1 on March 28, 2001, at 19:37:45
You don't need to worry about triggering me or saying anything that you think might bother me. I'm OK with reading about this.
For good reasons, we both fear hospitals. No amount of reassurance from anyone seems to help us deal with it. Somehow we are supposed to convince ourselves that although the last 10 times we were in the hospital it was a disaster, this time it will be different. I want to believe that. I want to trust that the people there won't make things worse for me, even if they can't make them any better. Isn't that what everybody wants? If your therapist knows how upset it makes you to talk about the hospital, what point is she trying to make by talking about it? I wouldn't think that topic of conversation is helping you and your pdoc seems to agree. I know that avoiding everything that people don't want to talk about wouldn't be very therapeutic, but couldn't she agree to let this one slide? As I recall, your pdoc had said you didn't have to go into the hospital, but this was probably more than a week ago. Unless their criteria for admission changes, they shouldn't need to bring up the subject.
What is the sequence of events, if you know, that sets off the cutting? Is it anxiety to dissociation to cutting? How strong must the trigger be to set off the anxiety? Can you identify some specific triggers? If I remember right, you've said that you have run out of doctor's offices on your first meeting because of something they said. Maybe I'm looking to be too specific and this is due more to your panic disorder than the dissociation.
When I'm feeling my worst, I've found that trying to keep myself distracted works better than anything. When I can't concentrate, I have to find very simple things to do. (I could make you a list of my "sorting projects.") Just being outside with your animals in nice weather sounds fine. It's still cold here in Michigan.
I'm thinking of you Judy, and I know what it's like to feel that no one understands. Keep writing to me and I'll keep listening.
Posted by judy1 on March 29, 2001, at 14:07:08
In reply to It's OK » judy1, posted by Craig on March 29, 2001, at 2:39:10
Thank you, Craig- it's really helpful to me to have your understanding. I went back to the archived messages and I remembered one person had shared their negative feelings on hospitalization and I had forgotten it was your name. I didn't feel quite so alone reading your response that day, admidst posts about people actually WANTING to go to the hospital where they could feel SAFE! If you would like to share some of the ways you keep grounded I would love to read them. I am in So. Cal so I do have the luxury of following my therp's instructions- when I lived in Minnesota I was always depressed in the winter and spent thousands in a very nice bar drinking vodka martinis from 10am to closing. I always had I's (incomplete) grades winter quarter.
I'm trying to figure out some of my triggers- at night I awaken with panic attacks and often dissociate and cut; actually this is almost always when I cut. I dissociate a lot in my therp's office, but she's really good at spotting it and forces me to look into her eyes when I speak to her. She told me that people who have been abused as children are very astute at determining who they can trust and not trust within minutes. I don't know, sometimes it's really obvious when I meet a pdoc- like the one who said he would only treat me with ECT (and that was 10 minutes after he first met me!) Needless to say I was out of there. A lot of times I don't remember what sets me off, but if even an innocuous question is asked about my chilhood I feel a great deal of anxiety and dissociate. It's different than a panic attack, where my heart starts pounding and I sweat and get those tingling feelings down my arms and no matter how many times I have them, I'm convinced I'm dying. I know this is a continuum- the anxiety, panic, dissociation and DID. Are your meds helping? If so, do you know which ones? Scott had suggested naltrexone for my cutting, but I mentioned I had the opiate abuse problem. When I used to self medicate, I used narcotics, valium, alcohol and cocaine. While I'm the first to admit this isn't the healthiest way to go, I wonder sometimes if it isn't the purest in terms of what's being targeted. I was told that I would have to spend a long time in therapy, but like I said I think it makes me worse. But isn't that the whole idea- you get worse before better? I just hope they don't kill me first. Hope you are well- judy
Posted by Craig on March 30, 2001, at 3:56:59
In reply to Re: It's OK » Craig, posted by judy1 on March 29, 2001, at 14:07:08
If panic attacks are waking you up, does your pdoc see that as the first problem? Do you remember anything happening just before you awaken, such as a nightmare, or does the panic attack seem to come out of nowhere? Probably dumb questions on my part, but I'm thinking out loud to see how panic escalates to cutting. As you can see by the time I write, I stay up nights and sleep during the day (I'm on Eastern Time). You could explore reversing your sleep schedule to see if that makes any difference, but that probably isn't possible with a son to take care of. I'm not at all familiar with cutting, so I'm having trouble making the connection with that and dissociating. As you see it, what is the difference between your daytime and nighttime panic attacks? Are the nighttime ones worse and that's why you end up cutting?
I can't think of any meds I've taken that affected dissociation, other than ones that made me feel awful, such as the old antipsychotics like Thorazine, Haldol, Mellaril, Trilafon, etc. On the other hand, a brief sojourn into marijuana made me dissociate big time. My doctor said that dissociation is common in bipolars when they abuse substances. When you were using drugs, did you have the cutting problem? When did cutting come into the picture.
There are a lot of factors to consider when you try to decide if therapy is making you worse. What works for one person might not work for another. Maybe you might consider continuing to see your pdoc for meds, but pull back on seeing your therapist for awhile. I was told that therapy was going to take a long time, too. I was also told that I was going to get worse before I got better. Well, they were right about that. I got worse. But I certainly didn't get better. After 17 years of therapy, I finally gave up. It was the summer of 1988, which I had spent in the hospital (like the winter of 1988, which I'd also spent in the hospital), and I vowed if I could get discharged (which was no easy feat), I was never going to talk to another therapist again. Fast forward to 2001 and here I am. I have so much more to say, but there's no way I can fit it all in.
I have to stop for now, but will write more tomorrow.
Posted by judy1 on March 30, 2001, at 10:38:47
In reply to Panic and Dissociation » judy1, posted by Craig on March 30, 2001, at 3:56:59
Actually I noticed right away that you are one of the few people who post in the middle of the night. While I'm awake then, I am in no shape to post. Once I have a panic attack (usually 2-3am- and that apparently is one of the requirements of panic disorder- they come out of nowhere and very often include nocturnal attacks). While I don't always dissociate after a panic attack, I probably do with the majority of them. I also dissociate often in the day and lose quite a bit of time then. I think my cutting may serve the purpose that hitting walls did for you- it brings me out of that state. While it is an extreme way to do it, it works. I probably am getting some other benefits from it that outweigh the shame I feel, the scars, the reactions of the ER physicians and even the so-called professionals- psychiatrists. There aren't too many people in the mental health field that understand self-injury; Noa had recommended a book by Steven Levenkron that has been a huge help to me. (So Noa, if you're reading this, thank you).
While I think that's interesting that your pdoc said abusing substances worsens dissociation in bipolar disorder, that hasn't been the case for me. I can see marijuana doing it- I think most people w/o any mental health problems zone out on marijuana. While there is definitely a genetic component to my bipolar disorder, I think dissociation has developed as a coping skill for me and a very effective one in childhood that supposedly I no longer need. But until I have other skills to replace it, then I guess it stays. The huge problem is the cutting- if you don't know you are doing it, how do you stop? Even ridding my house of sharp objects doesn't prevent me from getting more (and not even being aware of that action). So the point is not to dissociate in the first place, to delve into places I don't want to go (REALLY don't want to go) and use the skills of my therp to help me work through them. I am not anywhere close to that point.
I asked my pdoc to giv me something that wouldn't allow me to wake during the night- and he said if he did that I would be a zombie. Probably mellaril, etc.
I think if I had a history like yours of 17 years! in therapy with no improvement, I would never go near another therp. My shrink, who has my trust, does meds and therapy. He just felt I would be more comfortable with a woman discussing certain issues. While she has helped me with some of the coping skills that I had mentioned, I don't have the trust like I do with my shrink. He has said he will be patient with me and work at my pace, so I don't even make appts in advance- I just call when I feel I can talk and he works me in. I realize how fortunate I am to have him.
I don't want you to feel obligated to answer me, but if you feel well enough to it does help me and I thank you for that- judy
Posted by Craig on March 31, 2001, at 3:05:58
In reply to Re: Panic and Dissociation » Craig, posted by judy1 on March 30, 2001, at 10:38:47
Judy, how long have you been cutting? Would I be right in thinking that you weren't doing this while you had your drug problems? (By the way, my pdoc said dissociation is *common* in bipolars who abuse substances, not that abusing substances *worsens* dissociation in bipolar disorder.) With this gigantic cutting problem, I think you had the best idea of all by asking your pdoc to give you a heavy duty med at night that would knock you out. Are you a single parent or is there someone who could get your son off to school if you were too groggy to get up on time? Maybe you could go to bed extra early, so the effects would lessen by morning.
You asked me the other day how I stay grounded and as long as I don't think about it, I guess that's how I do it. Sometimes I think that's my solution for everything: Don't think about it and hope it will go away. It's not exactly wise advice, is it? My life is a mixture of symptoms, but lately I think I'm leaning more on the side of depersonalization and derealization and less on the side of dissociation. As long as I'm not stressed, I do alright. But I'm not living in the real world. I don't have to deal with the pressures of everyday life as most people do. I live in my parent's house and don't have a job. Taken out of this environment, I fall apart and end up back in the hospital. I'm trying to think of an uplifting sentence to end this with.....
Posted by judy1 on April 1, 2001, at 16:05:51
In reply to How Long? » judy1, posted by Craig on March 31, 2001, at 3:05:58
Craig,
I'm not doing too well so I am going to withdraw for a little while. I wanted to make sure you realize how much it has helped me to 'talk' to you- I feel like you understand me. I'll post soon as I feel better- take care- judy
Posted by Craig on April 2, 2001, at 1:40:51
In reply to Re: How Long? » Craig, posted by judy1 on April 1, 2001, at 16:05:51
Dear Judy,
I am very sorry to hear that things have gotten even worse for you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and I hope this awful period is replaced with better times soon.
Craig==================================================
> Craig,
> I'm not doing too well so I am going to withdraw for a little while. I wanted to make sure you realize how much it has helped me to 'talk' to you- I feel like you understand me. I'll post soon as I feel better- take care- judy
Posted by judy1 on April 5, 2001, at 18:25:30
In reply to Well-wishes to Judy, posted by Craig on April 2, 2001, at 1:40:51
Hi Craig,
I think my meds needed to kick in a little, I'm not in as bad shape as I was last week-end. So I just wanted to thank you for the well-wishes and hope you are doing well. I see my therp tomorrow morning, I wasn't capable of leaving the house until today. Not the greatest week. take care, judy
Posted by Craig on April 6, 2001, at 1:32:03
In reply to Re: Well-wishes to Judy » Craig, posted by judy1 on April 5, 2001, at 18:25:30
Hi Judy,
I'm glad you're doing a little better. Let me know how your appointment goes. I found something you'll be interested in on the main Psycho-Babble board. Cole posted a message at http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010403/msgs/58832.html and, in case you want to write her, here's part of what she said:
Re: New mood-stabilizers ? SLS, loosmrbls
Posted by cole on April 5, 2001, at 16:56:13
In reply to Re: New mood-stabilizers ?, posted by SLS on April 4, 2001, at 23:09:35* One thing that I experience that makes me think mixed state is when I am depressed,
and something upsets me. I get into a really dissociative state, and I usually end up
slicing my arm with a knife or hurting myself somehow. I also feel this way when I get
suicidal, which is a significant side to my depression. The state ends after I hurt myself,
and later when the wound hurts I wonder what the hell I was thinking, but I kind of
break from reality when I do that sort of thing. I self mutilated constantly on zoloft, it's
very infrequent now.
==================================================
> Hi Craig,
> I think my meds needed to kick in a little, I'm not in as bad shape as I was last week-end. So I just wanted to thank you for the well-wishes and hope you are doing well. I see my therp tomorrow morning, I wasn't capable of leaving the house until today. Not the greatest week. take care, judy
Posted by judy1 on April 6, 2001, at 15:11:05
In reply to Another Dissociative Here » judy1, posted by Craig on April 6, 2001, at 1:32:03
Hi,
I just returned from the therp- she made this really good tape for me when I begin to get anxious, very soothing- going to a 'safe place' for me, the beach. She had to redo the end though, because I didn't come back- was very happily dissociated. Anyway, that's good for day, most of my SI happens at night, still working on that. I can see why you stay awake at night, I wish that was an option for me. That was interesting what Cole wrote, maybe I'll hop over and put in my 2 cents. Take care, judy
Posted by cole on April 7, 2001, at 1:54:24
In reply to Re: Another Dissociative Here » Craig, posted by judy1 on April 6, 2001, at 15:11:05
Hey guys,
I'm having a little deja vu here since I posted earlier, but either I forgot to hit the "confirm post" bar, or something went wrong.
I just wanted to join the discussion on dissociation.
I would say that I am primarily concerned with my anxiety and depression, because the dissociation doesn't occur when they are under control. Regardless, the experience of that zone I go into is very unlike any other part of my illness. I will get this feeling that I really screwed up, or someone hurts my feelings, and I get into this haze where I tend to say the same thing over and over in my head (or out loud if I'm alone), and I often end up injuring my self and then I feel "normal" again.
I've seen dissociation involved in so many different disorders that it really makes me wonder where in the brain it is originating. My boyfriend has tourette's and OCD and he also goes into a state that we jokingly call "rational man" because in his mind he is being completely rational, and everyone else is crazy. I guess his would be better described as a "rage"; he gets manipulative and borders on being verbally abusive when I try to throw some reality into the discussion/argument/whatever you call taking to a person who isn't completely within reality. The unfortunate thing is that when he's back to normal he feels really stupid for his behavior, because he can be quite hurtful. We generally agree that if this begins while we are on the phone I hang up on him, and if we are in person I also try to "hang up", and leave until he's gotten back to normal. The last time I dissociated (if I am using the appropriate term/ I'm pretty sure that's what is going on) was a result of 1) the two of us drinking and 2)my response to "rational man". alcohol completely brings "rational man" out of hiding. He was in his "state" and was really hurtful towards me, I then wandered off repeatedly asking myself what I had done to deserve the situation I was in, and broke out of the haze after picking a piece of broken glass off the sidewalk and slashing my hand with it. He's since started taking sesrzone, and I think it's helping with the rages.
I read through most of the thread and craig's hx, am I correct that both of you have histories of abuse? I can see where dissociation could arise from that experience as a coping mechanism; but I have no such history in my memory (and I also remember my childhood very well). When I discussed this topic with my father on the phone tonight he mentioned my little sister's night terrors, which he feels are similar somewhat. She would wake up (but she wasn't really awake, or even herself) and she was like a little zombie. My parents would follow her around the house in the middle of the night, because it was practically impossible to break her out of the state she was in, and she would get extremely agitated at times. I wonder if her terrors and my self injury are variations of the same problem.
It just seems there are a number of variations on that theme of a break from "reality". Anyways, I've probably bored you to tears but I was excited to see people discussing this. Not a lot of people like to discuss these experiences, especially when they lead to self injury.
cole
Posted by ShelliR on April 7, 2001, at 21:05:27
In reply to Re: Another Dissociative Here-- kind of long, posted by cole on April 7, 2001, at 1:54:24
Hi Cole. While you say you didn't have an abusive childhood, you seem to have picked up low self esteem somewhere along the way. Dissociation is a defense mechanism, and the examples you give:< I will get this feeling that I really screwed up, or someone hurts my feelings, and I get into this haze where I tend to say the same thing over and over in my head (or out loud if I'm alone), and I often end up injuring my self and then I feel "normal" again.
show that self-injury produces a calming effect from being hurt. I think there's sometime in your life that you had to learn how to protect your feelings (and I do believe you that abuse was not part of your family life.) Part of dissociation is a propenity toward it (not all abused children develop it), but I would also guess that someone didn't take good enough care of your emotional needs. Perhaps, like your sister, you did have terrors, but because you weren't acting them out, no one paid attention. Just a thought. shelli
Posted by judy1 on April 8, 2001, at 14:31:32
In reply to Re: Another Dissociative Here-- kind of long, posted by cole on April 7, 2001, at 1:54:24
Hi,
I think dissociation is a symptom of a lot of disorders (OCD, panic, mood, etc.) but when SI is involved that's usually another category. You sound like me in that you use it to bring yourself out of a dissociative state, which makes it a really difficult behavior to stop. I'm seeing a therp who specializes in this, and while I have a hx if abuse, I don't think all her clients do. It's been difficult for me to stop- things like getting rid of all sharps doesn't work because I just get more without realizing it. I'm unable to go into a hospital because of past experiences, both pdoc and therp are understanding about that now. Are you seeing someone who specializes in this? I also only experience it when depressed, but this episode seems longer than usual for me. Anyway you certainly did not bore me, and if there is anything you want to vent about, I'll be happy to listen- judy
Posted by judy1 on April 9, 2001, at 11:06:32
In reply to Re: Another Dissociative Here-- kind of long » cole, posted by judy1 on April 8, 2001, at 14:31:32
Just wanted to make sure you're okay and thinking about you-judy
Posted by cole on April 9, 2001, at 22:21:03
In reply to Re: Another Dissociative Here-- kind of long » cole, posted by judy1 on April 8, 2001, at 14:31:32
Thanks to both of you for being so welcoming. My psychiatrist will always listen re: the SI stuff, but I don't think she has a particular way of treating it other than along with the depression w/ meds.
I get twinges of the feeling, but it comes and goes, sometimes I can focus hard enough to break out of it without actually doing anything. Sometimes I can just pinch myself hard and I feel fine again (does that work for you Judy?).
I'm currently doing pretty well, I'm spending a lot of time studying, and this keeps me out of trouble (of course I would have a difficult time studying if the depression wasn't under control). Back to physics. . .
take care,
cole
Posted by Craig on April 10, 2001, at 1:40:07
In reply to Craig?, posted by judy1 on April 9, 2001, at 11:06:32
Hi Judy. How are you doing? I've been spacey for several days. My birthday was Saturday and it sent me into a tailspin. Some years it does that to me and others it goes by without a problem. I never know which it's going to be. When I get depressed, I slow down to a snail's pace. So, I'm not getting much done. The next part you're going to think is ridiculous, but it happens every time the seasons change. Sunday was a sunny day and the temperature set a record high of 79 degrees, which is a jump of about 25-30 degrees from normal. For whatever reason, I've never been able to adjust to sudden changes like that. I float out of my body. I feel like I'm living in a dream and I can't wake up. I'm in some kind of a trance state where my eyes just stare and I have to keep telling myself to blink. I don't feel connected. Thinking about how I feel only makes it worse, so that's enough of that. I expect I'll be better before long.
Although I prefer to call them "flashback smells," do you ever experience olfactory hallucinations? When I am physically ill, and only then, I can smell the psych ward I was on in the hospital. That's the only thing I ever smell. Since you also have a powerful reaction to hospitals, I was just wondering if anything like that happens to you.
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> Just wanted to make sure you're okay and thinking about you-judy
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